Talk

Flip

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Friendships in junior school

3 replies

Mummydummy · 20/03/2008 01:15

My daughter is 7 (year 3) and is generally a very friendly and easy going girl. I am however, concerned that groups and bonds are forming amongst her friends which seem not to include her. She is young in her class and tells me that no one ever asks her to play with them - she always has to ask others if she can join them. Some playtimes she is left on her own sitting on a wall (twice today apparently). She doesn't often get invited round to play at other peoples houses after school - although she and alot of her friends seem to have alot of activites after school. At the weekends we tend to do family things but sometimes invite friends of hers over to play or for sleepovers. She does get invited back - though I'm not sure if that is out of politeness to return the invitation. She has some very good friends outside school who like her very much.

I'm not sure what the trends are in friendship forming through the junior years and whether this is a natural part of growing up, and whether other children may well be having the same experiences as her. I do not believe that this will affect her popularity as a teen or adult, but I do feel for her if she is lonely at playtimes. Is there anything I can do to help her - by speaking to her teacher for instance?

I would welcome advice or suggestions.

OP posts:

Report

avenanap · 20/03/2008 11:00

I was recommended a book by another mnetter called the unwritten rules of friendship and it goes into how to make friends and how to be a good friend, maybe this will help her. It can also be a confidence problem, children are more likely to play with a confident child then one that is quiet. Is there one person that she gets on with more than anyone else? Maybee inviting one person over a bit more could help? Junior school children are always swapping friends, it's just how things go. One day they are friendly and want to play, the next day they act like they hate you for no reason at all. Maybe your daughter would benefit from having some interests out of school. A drama club would be good as it would give her some self confidence. The teacher would be able to tell you if there were any problems at school so this would also be a good idea. It can be hard finding a place to fit in, children tend to hang around in groups and it can be really hard for a child to break in. The book's very good but I do recommend it alot .