DS2 age 51/2 is upset and clingy when I drop him at school, been like this since start of Jan term

[josben]

Don't know what i can do. We had parents evening last week and his teacher said he was doing well at school work but is lacking in confidence, he doesn't like to speak up in class and worries about getting the answer wrong...

She also said that he isn't a boisterous type of boy who charges about play fighting etc... She suggested sending him to drama classes, but I have tried these about a year ago and I didn't find they helped that much...

He does have friends to play with, just a small circle I think...

So now I am now blaming myself for being a bit molycodling (sp?) as he is a real home loving boy and I think he'd be quite happy to be at home with me and his baby sister.

I'm not sure how I can encourage him to be a bit more adventurous and build his confidence - any suggestions??

[FloriaTosca]

Not really qualified to help..my ds is only 5 months...
....but my brother developed school phobia and the councellor my parents took him to suggested giving him something "different" to most of the other boys to help his confidence(I suppose so he could feel superior and teach them about it rather than the other way round..) They bought him a kids motorbike and he learned scrambling ...and it worked, some of the other boys wanted to learn and he was able to let them use his bike and show them how it was done....just suggestion, perhaps you could adapt the idea to suit your son.

[arfishy]

Hi Josben,

Thought I'd bump this for you. I have a DD of the same age, but after hideous separation anxiety at pre-school we're ok at big school (she started Feb).

DD's school does also recommend Drama for the shyer ones. Do you think that a year would have made a difference for your DS and it's worth trying again?

I have another friend whose daughter was very, very shy in social situations. They saw a therapist and did lots of role play to build her confidence.

Is there something that he's very good at that you can do with school to really "big him up"? Like an afterschool club or something that he'd enjoy and get to meet similar minded boys?

[josben]

Thanks for your posts, some good advice that I will try to put into practice...

I think that the role play idea is a good one - i will try and do that a bit at home i think.

He does love football and he and DS1 have been collecting the Football 'match attack' cards which he said he'd been swapping yesterday at school, and he did seem a bit happier when he got home.