DD 21mths very very clingy - how do I stop this before arrival of 2nd dc??

[mum2becks]

Hi, I dont know why but dd is very clingy with me, to the extent sometimes that she wont go to dh even if we are both in the same room and if I try to leave the room she has to follow me otherwise she gets really upset!

Its a real ordeal if ever I need to go anywhere without her as she gets herself in such a state it take a lot to calm her back down. I am expecting 2nd dc later this year and am worried that this will just get worse as she will also be jealous and can see it being very difficult to manage a baby and dd?

She is very independant in other ways (too much sometimes) as wants to do everything herself even things that are far too difficult yet!

Any suggestions on what could be causing this or what I could try to make her more comfortable with other people would be greatly appreciated, thanks

[horace]

It's just a phase ( repeat this phrase as many times as you need each day) - I know it can be difficult. I think thta you will find that within a few weeks she will feel less vulnerable. She may be sensing that things are about to chnge and can't express how she feels. What worked for me was to give my DD as much love and attention as i could when she sought it. As soon as she got what she wanted she would get down and go away and play. To egnore her just made her really persistant and very annoying at times. Within 6 -8 weeks she was better. I was about 6 months pregnant at the time.

[pedilia]

Could you get someone to have a her for a morning a week friend,childminer,nusery.

So she can get used to having some time away from you?

[TooTicky]

Just let her cling for a bit, it's what she needs right now. She will bounce out of it, don't worry

[TheHonEnid]

mine is like this (22 months)

jsut let her cling as much as humanely possible

(mine cannot be allowed to be too clingy as she has 2 sisters)

gently try leaving her with trusted family or friend for half an hour at a time?

[scattyspice]

DS was like this too (it lasted until he was about 3) DD was born when he was 20mnths. I carried her in a sling all the time so I could still play with him. He always sat on my lap when I changed her nappy! and when I fed her!! I got quite good at carrying her in one arm and him on the other hip.

Now he's Mr Independent LOL!

[nailpolish]

dont push her away to other relatives/ achildminder etc

my dd was 24 mhts when her little sister was born and she was clingy

she was not jealous one jot

she just wanted reassurance i still loved her exactly the same - its difficult for them

let her cling and while you are attending to the baby let her join in. tell her you are so happy she wants to join in

[HonoriaGlossop]

my instinct is with those who say just give her as much time to cling as you possibly can. I don't think she needs to 'practice' being away from you to get used to it. If she has to be away from you, she will do it because she has to (for example when you're in hospital) but IMO 'practicing' being apart will not help her cope better and may make her even more clingy

totally agree that giving them what they need is the way to go and hopefully you will find it's this that gets her out of this phase quicker than anything else anyway.

[mum2becks]

Thanks everyone, looks like I need to just go with it and let her cling when she needs to!

[ShellD]

My DD went through a very clingy stage last year when I was pregnant, she was 2 and a half at the time.

She would not even let her dad lift her out of her cot, as my back was so sore we would make her stay in the cot until she was happy to let Daddy lift her up. Most of the time I just went with the flow and let her cling.

I was very worried about what would happen when the new baby arrived but she has been fantastic. I think she was just very aware that something was happening and did not understand it. She has taken really well to being a big sister and only occasionally said "put him down mummy"!

Good luck!