autism/aspergers worries over 3 year old, who should I talk to about it?

[timetodosomething]

DS has just turned 3. Since he was around 7 months, I've had concerns about him as he tends to do most things pretty late, milestone wise. I have periods of worrying greatly, then periods of thinking he's probably ok. I am more concerned at present than for a long time at the moment. His language is not very good but hard to tell whether he's just shy and awkward or whether there's more to it. He will say something mumbled to myself or dh and if we don't get it, he will then mumble even more or just blank us if asked to repeat. He quite often blanks us when asked a question and is not good at eye contact if we are sat near each other. He is fine if we are across the other side of the room.

He has no real conversation with his peers. I think he wants to but his language simply isn't up to it really. He comes accross as rude and offish which is hard to watch . I do find it hard not to get irritated as at the moment he likes to mimic his 8 month old brother's babble and other immature sounds. He also has an obsession with opening and closing doors and cupbaords (though is easy to distract from this). He knows this winds me up in all fairness so it could be that or something more to it, I just don't know. Home has been a bit stressed recently and the door thing has become much worse (it had improved a lot as was awful about a year ago). DS is very good with numbers and letters, shapes etc. with very little input which makes me think aspergers all the more? Has anyone been in this situation? Not sure who to speak to first- HV, GP or pre-school (they've not mentioned big worries yet and not sure whether to wait and see if they mention anything first). He's been at pre-school for 4 months.

I'm sorry this is such a ramble but any advice would be really appreciated.

[hecate]

I took my initial concerns re ds1 to HV, who made a referral. He was diagnosed with asd at 2.5 and early intervention is crucial, imo. He has had so much help and support - as did ds2 who was diagnosed at roughly the same age.

FWIW, Although many people say oh they're young, no need to worry at this age, children develop at different rates etc (all of which is true) I for one would never advise 'wait and see' in these things, because I know how much every month matters if there is something. Far better to get seen and be told there is no problem, than to hang about in case things sort themselves out, only to realise at 4, 5 or 6 years old that there was a problem, because they've lost all that time that could have been spent doing stuff. (ABA, brain gym etc) Getting them seen doesn't give them anything and there is no reason at all to hang around. It is well known that the earlier they are diagnosed and supported, the better they do.

Have a look at my blog - I'm no autism expert, but maybe there's something familiar you can see?

here it is

[TotalChaos]

I agree with Hecate - far better to ask for referrals straight away, than wait and see, particularly as you are concerned about your DS's speech. You might as well speak to pre-school first anyway - it boosts your case for a referral if you can add in - oh and preschool have concerns about x/y/z. Also worth asking for a hearing test, to rule out whether any hearing problems are affecting his speech and behaviour.

If his language isn't good, bear in mind he might also have difficulties understanding what you are saying- so try and back up what you say with gestures, pointing etc, and keep language simple.

[TotalChaos]

bump

[timetodosomething]

Thank you both, will speak to HV and pre-school next week. He has had a couple of hearing tests a while back due to recurrent ear infections but passed with A1 hearing which I can vouch for now, he doesn't miss a trick!
Hecate, thanks for the link to your blog. An interesting read, it's wonderfully written btw. My concerns seem smallfry in comparison and any asd he has would be mild I'm sure. BUT would still like to know either way and help him all I can.

[preggerspoppet]

sorry timetodo it must be a very hard thing to admit to as it must scare you to death. mothers do know their children better than anyone but you could be wrong. I echo the great advice you have already been given from the previous posters.
good luck.

[preggerspoppet]

sorry timetodo it must be a very hard thing to admit to as it must scare you to death. mothers do know their children better than anyone but you could be wrong. I echo the great advice you have already been given from the previous posters.
good luck.

[neolara]

Maybe ask for a referral to a speech therapist as well as a paediatrician.

[TotalChaos]

oh absolutely neolara. In fact - if there is a hideously long waiting list for SALT and you are still worried about his speech, might be worth you getting a private SALT appointment - for about £100 - £150 you can get someone to come out, assess your DS and advise you on a plan to help improve his speech and communication. I have done that and think that has been very valuable.

[Mog]

Have pre school mentioned any concerns?

[emma1977]

Hi TTDS, I'm a GP and wouldn't hesitate in referring you straight onto paeds for their assessment of your ds with your concerns. I agree with others, parents know their kids best and any concerns about develpment need to be flagged up and taken seriously.

Good luck whichever route you choose.

[timetodosomething]

Mog- pre-school haven't mentioned any concerns. Obviously he's not been there long but they say he's come on well since starting. He's now happy to go in and moves around the room to activities more independently. He used to refuse to do painting or whatever with an adult when asked but now joins in more readily. All they've said socially is that he's getting better so bit unclear really...

emma1977- that's good to hear but scarey. I maybe exaggerated his poor speech in my OP. He does improve all the time and sometimes chats away and makes good sense. It's just when he blanks people that I think is there more to it? It's socially that he stands out most. Real question mark over whether it's immaturity or asd...

[timetodosomething]

Anyone know where I could find a description of a 3yr old with aspergers so I could compare etc??

[emma1977]

Didn't mean to frighten you!

I didn't mean to imply that I thought there was something seriously wrong, just that if a parent is concerned enough about their child's development and especially if they are concerned about ASD, I think that always warrants a referral to paeds.

The overwhelming majority of the time, the kids are assessed and are fine.

[timetodosomething]

No emma, it is good that I will be taken seriously at GP's. Am pretty good at standing my ground with dr's but still fear being told to go away by the GP! So how do paeds assess these kinds of issues in children?

[emma1977]

A lot of it is the history given by the parents and observing the child's behaviour.

There is a screening questionnaire called CHAT (checklist for autism in toddlers) which is more aimed at children aged 18 months and helps to detect ASD at an early age. I'm not sure of its validity in older children.

Asperger's children tend to display abnormal social behaviour and obsessive preoccupation with routines, whereas autistic children may also display problems with language and a tendency to isolate themselves. Your son doesn't sound 'classically' ASD from your description.

He may just be expressing his personality in this manner, which may have become more exaggerated with home stresses. However, if he's worrying you- get him checked out at least to set your mind at rest.

[hecate]

CARS. Childhood Autism Rating Scale is often used. I haven't been able to find a full one on-line, they are reserved for 'professionals', but I found a bit of one. at the bottom of the page

[castlesintheair]

I've had similar concerns over my DS (now 6) over the years, so I know how you are feeling.

Did/does your DS point at things? I think this is one of the keys to identifying autism at an early stage.

Has he had his sight checked?

IME, if pre-school aren't concerned then I don't think you should be too concerned. He is still very young and if he is improving socially, as they say, then he may just be a late developer, like my DS

If you are really concerned then get a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

Sorry if I've just repeated everyone else's advice but I've only skimmed.

[timetodosomething]

Hecate, thanks for the link, will have a look after writing this .
castles- he started pointing a week after his 1st b'day and clapped and waved around that time. At this time I relaxed a bit but as he still seems behind in development and quite withdrawn at times (particularly since new baby- almost depressed) I have worried more again. Maybe a late developer- the clapping etc was fairly late but I guess within normal limits. Will talk to pre-school later in week when he's there. Chickened out of dr's this am, really am in 2 minds.