Are dummys lazy parenting?

(86 Posts)
Tipex Thu 13-Dec-07 21:17:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
CarmenerryChristmas Thu 13-Dec-07 21:19:13

FGS give yourself a break. Are you lazy in other areas of your life? No, well why would you be a lazy parent.

Tipex Thu 13-Dec-07 21:20:38

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OP’s posts: |
cba Thu 13-Dec-07 21:21:37

Chill out, ds2 will get rid of it when good and ready, or as he gets older you could give him a helping hand and restrice it just to bed time. ds1 had one as did ds2, dd refused one, althoug i did try

TheBlonde Thu 13-Dec-07 21:21:39

No tips sorry but I don't think it makes you a lazy parent (mine both thumb suck, does that make be lazier?)

CarmenerryChristmas Thu 13-Dec-07 21:21:39


FairyTaleOfNewYork Thu 13-Dec-07 21:21:45

dont beat yourself up.

some kids like to suck dummies some dont.

dd1 had a dummy till she was older.

dd2 spat hers out at 6months and didnt want it again.

dd3, well i thik she had one once.

WideWebWitch Thu 13-Dec-07 21:21:48

good lord, I agree, give youself a break! I think dummies are FANTASTIC! Babies like to suck, you don't see adults walking around with them, go for it. My dd still has one at night, ds had one for ages but doesn't now (he's 10), really, stop beating yourself up.

missorinoco Thu 13-Dec-07 21:24:49

lazy, no.
sanity preserving, yes.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Thu 13-Dec-07 21:25:27

yes you are being lazy but it's NOT POSSIBLE not to be, with DC2's, I htink. Otherwise family life would be unbearable.
When he's still asking for it at 5 then I will come and smack you round the head, if you like, because by that time you will be too tired to do it for yourself.

charliemama Thu 13-Dec-07 21:27:44

I tried and tried to get DS2 to take a dummy despite, like you not liking them, but the little so and so wouldn't keep them in.
IMO when you have more than one a lot of it is about what works best for the family. If that means letting your LO have a dummy then so be it. Do not feel lazy. You have found something that settles your child and you are using it. I can't see a problem with that.

If it makes you feel any better there is evidence using a dummy before sleep reduces the risk of cot death so you're actually being a very responsible parent. smile

Jojay Thu 13-Dec-07 21:29:33

Why do you hate them?

I think dummies are fab.

Why does giving your child something that gives him comfort and makes him feel settled and happy, make you a lazy parent? [hmm)

If he was attached to a toy, or blanket or something that calmed him, you wouldn't feel bad about that would you??

Look at it in that vein, and it doesn't seem nearly so bad.

As for getting it back to sleep times, no real advice here, but unless it's starting to affect his speech, I don't see that it's a problem anyway.

BTW my DS woke up one morning at 11 months and decided he didn't want bottles or dummies any more, and he hasn't touched one since.

It really won't be for ever. smile

Jojay Thu 13-Dec-07 21:30:50

How old is your DS BTW?

adventuregirl Thu 13-Dec-07 21:32:27

ds was a really sucky baby. we gave him a dummy and it worked. I later weaned him from it, and all was relatively sucking-free until he found his thumb.
now thumb-sucking is lazier parenting - don't even need to go to the shops grin

Tipex Thu 13-Dec-07 21:37:45

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OP’s posts: |
POOKAingwenceslaslookedout Thu 13-Dec-07 21:39:59

He's still tiny. Please do not worry about it at the moment.

onepieceoflollipop Thu 13-Dec-07 21:41:30

Tipex I nearly started a thread like this as we are going through similar. dd1 (3.11 years) was an "easy" baby and quickly learned the knack of sleeping beautifully, no dummy but sucked her fingers.

dd2 (17 weeks) is gorgeous but so different. Plus I haven't got the time to "invest" in settling her without a dummy which she also loves, much like you ds. Yes, originally it was for night time only, then nap time. I then posted a desperate thread as she screams in the car...then realised (like you) she doesn't with a dummy in place. Oh and then I realised she doesn't yell in shops either with a dummy.

I still feel that it is somehow "wrong" and I really take comfort in you starting this thread. I have read lots of previous comments on mnet about dummy use, most of which have reassured me that they are not a terrible thing and it is the right thing for us at the moment. Prior to dd2 I hold my hands up and admit I was secretly "smug" that I didn't need one before. I now take all that smugness back.

coldtits Thu 13-Dec-07 21:42:24

Some babies have a very very strong suck reflex, and derive great comfort from being allowed to suck. You are not being lazy, you are meeting his need to suck.

onepieceoflollipop Thu 13-Dec-07 21:44:52

Tipex I am taking real comfort in what some of these people are saying to you, such a relief in a way for me as well.

Sometimes when I am out and about or at toddler groups etc I glance round and I have noticed that dummy users are in the majority, not the minority, so we can't be doing too much wrong. smile

chocciedooby Thu 13-Dec-07 21:46:47

Only 5 months!What are you worrying about?!!My Ds's both have them for sleep times (only) and they are 2.9 and 4!blush

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree Thu 13-Dec-07 23:25:44

I hated dummies too when my two were babies - they both sucked their thumbs. Now I wish I'd used a dummy, as I'm sure DD wouldn't still be sucking that at almost 18....

amytheearwaxbanisher Thu 13-Dec-07 23:32:09

your not lazy if he is happy leave him too it for the time being

gingerninger Thu 13-Dec-07 23:47:26

Coming back from holiday on a night flight we noticed a girl of about 8 sucking a dummy! Did look a bit strange tbs she did have a brother about 2, don't think its being lazy, it must have been chaos in that house! You do what works for you!

twinklingfairy Thu 13-Dec-07 23:53:53

I agree with some of the others too, in that I am glad I have stumbled into this thread.
My DD had to have one, I really believe that. It was either my boob or my pinky and I just couldn't cope.
She is 15mo now and I have managed to get her off them during the day (managed that slowly but surely from about 9months, I think) but she still takes it at night and nap time. I can go out in the car and she won't need it, but by the time we are coming home she is knackered and takes it again.
I am always beating myself up and always tried to make a game of pulling it out if we met anyone in the street, when she was younger, cos I was embarassed by it.
It hid her beautiful face thoughsmile
I worry about trying to get her off it completely, from time to time, I am still up at least 3 times a night to replace a lost dummy (the glow in the dark ones just don't. glow I meanangry) but my mum maintains that I should leave her until she is ready.
Apparently, when I was about 2.5, I walked into the kitchen, took out my dummy and told my mum, 'I am too big for dummies.' Threw it in the bin and never took one again. Maybe my DD will do that?
My mum says I did that with nappies too, here's hoping my DD will follow in my footstepsgrin

smartiejake Thu 13-Dec-07 23:57:26

Dummies can be thrown away.
Sucked thumbs and fingers can't!
Don't feel bad.

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