DD deliberately wetting herself for purposes of control!

[Caligula]

How do I deal with this? I've made sure it's not because she's got an infection/ genuinely wants to go, etc., and she wets herself when I've told her off or won't give her what she wants. In line with all the positive parenting stuff, I try and ignore it - merely wipe up the mess, don't look at her, give her clean pants etc., but today she did it in a shopping centre because I wouldn't let her play on a Bob the Builder ride! I had to come home. OK, next time I can strap her into a buggy instead, but how long does this phase of deliberate wetting last? It's been about 3 weeks now, and I honestly don't shout at her or give her undue attention because of it, but she's carrying on doing it anyway. What to do?

[hercules]

How old is she?

[Caligula]

She's 2 and a half. She's been dry for about 4 months now, and it's just in the last 3 weeks that she's been wetting herself in order to make a point. Sometimes, it's within 5 minutes of having gone to the loo - quite impressive, really!

[motherinferior]

Would it work to put her - in a very routine way - in a pullup when you go out?

[mieow]

dd did this too, I had just pick her up from preschool, and then we went to DS school to pick him up, on the way out she decided she wanted to play on the wooden toys they have there, I said no, and carried on walking (we had to go the Physio with DS)She started to scream and suddenly she then stopped what she was doing and wet herself, I know it was deliberate, I just picked her up and carried her out of the playground, while poor DS had to wheel himself out.

[Caligula]

Someone else suggested putting a nappy on her when she did it, explaining that as she was wetting herself, she obviously needed a nappy, knowing that she would hate it. But I don't know if that might be a step backwards and counter-productive, or too harsh. But atm, I can't see any other way if I actually want to go out anywhere with her. Otherwise, she literally controls what we do. (Like today when I had to come home because she wet herself - obviously, if I was a more organised efficient mum, I'd have taken a change of clothes, but tbh because she's so in control and never wets herself (except deliberately!) I just didn't think to.)

I'm just a bit worried that she may get used to the feeling of being in a nappy again. And as I want her to start toddler group in January, I don't want to set myself up with another problem.

[Caligula]

Aaargh, she's just done it again - this time, because she wasn't allowed to carry on watching CBeebies because it's lunchtime.

Please someone tell me this phase doesn't last longer than a month! Do I have to go back to nappies?

[collision]

I agree with sobernow. Go ballistic and frighten the living daylights out of her. I did this with ds who is 2.7 when he started spitting!! He does it for attention and he got a smack today for it and ended up in his room. Am hoping that is an end to it.

At 2.5 they do understand and it might not be possible to do this when you are out but at home it might be easier.

A lot wont agree with this way of dealing with things but it is very frustrating and I am waiting for ds to do this again for attention when the new baby arrives in 2 weeks.

[shazza39]

Hi,
My daughter is 4 next month and I have had the problem with day time wetting since 2.5 years old. We've had her at the hospital but they say there is nothing wrong with her. It's driving me absolutely mental!! No probs at night though. HELP!!!

[2006simara]

@shazza39
What happened in the end? We are in this position now and have completely run out of ideas!