Trolley Tantrums

[SueDonim]

What does everyone think of this item about dealing with your child's behaviour in supermarkets? Is it likley to be helpful to you when your dd/ds is stropping or is it patronising and paternalistic to issue such guidelines?

\linknews.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2002/10/08/nanny08.xml{}Trolley tantrums\

[SueDonim]

Or even Trolley Tantrums . I shall have a tantrum if the link doesn't work this time!

[SoupDragon]

Oh for pity's sake!!! There are already a ton of books out there on this subject aren't there??

Having just endured Toddler Tantrums yesterday with my 19 month old, I just ignored him in Sainsburys until I got to the bread counter and shoved a wholemeal roll in his hands. Worked a treat

I also find strapping him in his carseat, shutting the door so I can't hear him and then counting to 100, shouting "SHUT UP" at the top of my voice or muttering obscenities quite theraputic.

[PamT]

Where can I get a copy of the video? I could do with a good laugh.

The question is, is Miss Hughes a single mother or a spinster Miss who has never had children of her own?

My top tip is - don't take your kids to the supermarket leave them at home with daddy instead!

[Crunchie]

This cracked me up. I mean it is such a waste of money, I am sure it was thought of in good faith and has good ideas in it, but it is so patronising. It is obviously written by people who don't have children or have never taken them top a supermarket. They could have spent the money on a brochure eplaining to all other shoppers that I am not killing my children, that they are not being abused, just because I won't give them crisps or chocolate. Also that mothers do not need their patronising remarks or pitying smiles, as that doesn't help either!

[Catt]

I found myself getting quite angry as I read it, because I've just heard about a friend with a newborn baby who has had the most horrendous trouble feeding her dd, and who found that, as she gave birth on a Friday and the hospital was short staffed, no midwife came to see her until the following Monday. So they are short on resources where they're really needed and then they waste money on patronising rubbish like this!

Just think, one of those booklets could pay for the salary of one extra midwife...

[Deborahf]

I sometimes think we should just wrap the children in cotton wool, give them everything they want and then the "Miss Hughes" of the world will be happy

Serioulsy, though there must be other things the Government could spend the money on - more teachers, smaller classes, better access to childcare of all sorts. Will not carry on or this will turn into a real rant

[bundle]

did you check out Miss Hughes' home office website? there's no mention of her having any family from which she can pass on her wisdom

[ejanes]

waste or time and money.

i have a little scheme that 2yr old ds and i put in to action when we go to the supermarker (i hope there are no supermarket managers or highly ethical people reading this!). When we go in to the supermarket i pick up a kids comic - bob, tweenies or postman pat, sometimes even a mr man book (when feeling really daring) i give it to ds who is sitting waiting iin the trolley hugely excited by the prospect(!!). He sits there very sweetly flicking through it , then his attention span begins to go just as we're reaching the till and the trolley is loaded up! The mag gets accidently left next to the coveyor belt . Please note it is in mint condition and can easily be picked up from here and still bought and the cost of it just about covers the manky few strawberries or pieces or lettiue that they hide at the bottom of the punnet!!!! AND the rest of their customers don't get disturbed by a screaming child. I think that's a fair deal!

[ionesmum]

Sorry, this sort of thing makes my blood boil. The fab hospital where dd was born has to raise money for equipment for its intensive care dept. (free NHS? Get real) and then the Government spends money on patronising c**p like this. I think they're pitiful.

[Snugs]

Couldnt help but smile when they tried to run this article on the lunchtime news - the video report broke down! Think an annoyed parent of a toddler might have been in charge of the video-player

[Jaybee]

Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think we all know how to behave in a supermarket and would be fine if no-one glared at us when we ignore their whining for something that they want.

This reminds me of an incident in the supermarket near to my work recently, child wanted a packet of cereal, mum said that they don't eat it - simple you would think!! Child then wailed (and I mean loudly) for the rest of the time in the supermarket, mum kept her calm but I overheard several people - mainly oaps (why do they always shop at lunchtime!!!!!!) who were moaning about the noise and staring at her.

[Lindy]

Absolutely agree with Jaybee & Crunchie, I can cope fine with my DS having a tantram, or loud screaming every few minutes which is his latest trick - I can keep calm, it's all the other nosey parkers having a good stare and their unwanted comments that really irritates me.

[oxocube]

Ha ha Soupdragon, loved your advice!! Would also like to add muttering the mantra "i am beautiful, I am childless, lead me to the gin and tonic" works for me But seriously, what a load of crap. And ionesmum, I completely agree with you: why should hospitals have to fundraise for life-saving equipment when the government can waste our money to pay for trite shit like this?

[FranE]

Haven't read the trolley tantrums guide, but always supply my 3 year old Queen of Tantrums with Chupa Chups Lollipop, it lasts at least 1/2 hour, admittedly, doesn't do her teeth any good, but she'll get new ones in a few years time!! What happened to supermarkets running creches, surely happy shoppers would spend longer in their aisles then?

[SoupDragon]

Snugs - either that or a tantruming toddler got to it

[anais]

I'm with Catt and Ionesmum. It's not only hugely patronising, its a disgusting waste of money. They will be giving out parenting handbooks at birth next.

As for the tantruming toddlers in supermarkets, you just can't win. I was in the supermarket with my dd (18months) a few weeks ago and she was....ok, screaming, but in a good way! She was squealing with all the joys of spring (ok, autumn) and this woman walks past and makes a loud comment about how disgusting it was that she was being allowed to continue. She was happy, what was I meant to have done? Tried to shut her up, made her cry instead. I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that whatever you do as a parent is wrong

[WideWebWitch]

Agree with everyone. This money would be better spent on health, education, housing, midwifery services, public transport and I could go on but it's too long a list.

[Tortington]

what with this and the law against smacking your children plastered all over the papersmakes my blood boil. there are laws in place already agains chidl abuse - but the issues go into under resourcing and paperwork etc, then the govt have the ordacity to tell me how to be a parent and how to dicipline my child, what about the artcle telling us not to shout at our children - these bloody rich people with nothing better to do, nannies who look after the kids all day so they can scale the heady heights of pwer and tell us how to be better parnets when all they bleeding do is read a bedtime story. ill tell you what would help people beccome better parents, better facilities, more child friendly placces - my god supermarkets where taking about creches when mine were little they are now nine and 13 why is it taking so long? why is is that social services are over stretcched and under resourcces, why is it you all drive ded posh cars in govt and preach to people on benefits about getting a job - oh we dont have a choice in what job we get becuase of the poor bloody education we got at school what with teachers strikes in the 80's and the overcrowding and under resourced shcools where we had substitute teachers all the bloody time who couldnt bloody teach but as long as we are staccking shelves and off your bloody list then that is fine. come live in my world mate where you have naff all to buy your kids for xmas, no money for the bleedin gas meter and praying the social security will cock things up in your favour so you get an extra milk token to feed your bloody kids with and then tell me i am a bad parent!! you cheeky b*stards how dare you i probably have better managment skills in the old bogie i picked from my nose than you have in your whole body how dare you! i am an adult! not a child.

thank you for reading that if you did, it makes me so angry as you can tell.

[Tortington]

ooops . that bad education explains the typos! hehe

[Cecilia]

We have a very good creche at our local Safeway's which has made shopping a lot more relaxed and enjoyable all round. Unfortunately, like all good things, it appears to be coming to an end and the store has plans to close it to create more space for bargain priced electrical goods etc which is a real shame.

[SueDonim]

Hmmm, yes, I think that's the reaction I expected from Mumsnetters! It's a piece of nonsense, isn't it? Most people care for their children very well indeed and the few who don't are not the sort who will pick this leaflet up anyway. If the govt is serious about improving parenting skills they would be using this money to target those who really would benefit, not using a scattergun approach.

And at the end of the day, apart from the annoyance factor (and that's just the long-suffering parent!) where's the harm in a child having a tantrum in the supemarket? As long as they are not in physical danger of pulling tins or something down upon themselves or others, no one's going to be injured by a toddler tantrum.

Custardo, I think you've made some excellent points. Why don't you do a Prince Charles, and send T Blair and Ms Hughes copies of your post? They might realise parents are also people, then.

Is England bringing in an anti-smacking law? Scotland has backed down on their plans to ban smacking, I believe. I was discussing this whole issue with my 15 yr old DD last night and when she heard the bit about shouting being as bad for children as smacking she said, wryly, 'Oh well, in that case you might just as well smack them and then at least you'd feel better.' I thought it was funny coming from her as she has only ever once been smacked, when she was two and can't remember it!!

[Katherine]

ejanes - my two get through a fair few grapes on the way round and I refuse to feel guilty too. After all we spend a fortune in there and they try to mae live harder by piling sweets at the checkout etc, I think providing a soemthing to entertain a child is a great idea. My tow are generally good in the supermarket (probably because they like grapes ) but on those bad days I just try to tune out. Afterall if you give in you just encourage the child to do the same thing next time, and next time.... Perhaps if they didn't clutter the isles up with loads of piles of junk and provided trolleys that go in the right direction we'd manage to get round quicker and our kids would get less bored.... Grrrrrr.....

[SoupDragon]

Ah, but feeding your child grapes from a package which has to be weighed is, of course, theft. Froma pre-packed and priced package (try saying that with a grape in your mouth!) there's no problem of course. My DSs wholemeal rolls come from a pack of 4 and we've never been there long enough to consume the entire pack

[Scatterbrain]

I have to agree with SoupDragon on this one - I am forever seeing mums taking packs of crisps and biscuits off the shelves and giving them to their kids, then shoving the empty packs back on the shelf - it is definitely theft ! Boo- Hiss !!

And it means that the honest ones have to pay more as the supermarkets have to put the prices up to cover the cost !

In fact when I was 8 mths pg & out shopping I suddenly felt very faint - so I opened my pack of digestives and ate one and drank half a bottle of something - then when I put them through the till the woman told me that she was supposed to call security when people did this so they could tell you off - but as I was pg she would let me off ! I felt so-o-o bad and as guilty as hell ! That was Tescos BTW ! Still - if it was my shop I wouldn't want people munching their way around and potentially nicking my profits - so I respect that !

[Bumblelion]

This reminded me of something I read or was it a joke I heard or was it a a true story.

A lady is walking around the supermarket with a child in a trolley and an elderly man over hears the lady talking. The lady is saying "not long to go now Emma, nearly finished shopping"; (in next aisle) "you are being very good Emma, when you get home you can have a nice chocolate biscuit, etc.

Once outside the shop and the lady is loading her car, the elderly man comes up to her and says how well behaved her daughter "Emma" was. The lady replies that her daughter's name is "Rosie" and she herself is in fact called Emma.

This did make me laugh - I could just visualise myself in Sainsburys saying the same thing.