Struggling with my 4 year old!

[notsmagec]

Hi

Just wondered if anyone had any advice as I'm at the end of my tether!
My son is such hard work, part of me wonders whether there may be something underlying or is it just a very long stressful phase..

He's very active, never still, jumping off sofas, running around, throwing things, climbing bookshelves, climbs over my bannister etc, typical 'wild child' behaviour.
He's so impulsive, runs in the road, touches everything from items on shelves in shops, knocking them purposely over, to hot ovens etc and things I tell him numerous times to not touch.
He's always shouting and making silly noises, eg if we're in a quiet shop or waiting area he will just keep shouting random sounds to get everyone's attention.
He never listens, I feel like I'm permanently repeating myself and talking to a wall. He can't play with anyone without annoying them or hurting them.. he spoils everyone's games or breaks their toys, Lego etc.
If I am paying attention to my daughter like homework/reading he will start doing naughty things to divert my attention like throwing things around or hurting our dog..

He does have sensory issues with clothing, it takes a good half hour to get dressed in a morning as everything hurts him and ends up having a a meltdown head butting, lashing out..

He does go to nursery every morning.. they have voiced some concerns with getting over excited and hitting/pushing etc but they just say he goes on the thinking step and that's that, saying they think he will grow out of it. He sees a speech therapist 3 times a week and I feel like they keep using at as a excuse like he's frustrated but he can communicate fine, he mispronounces words and sometimes stutters but that doesn't really affect him at home as we all understand him.
He started swimming lessons recently and the instructor said he kept jumping in when he wasn't supposed to and was running around the side of the pool even when they told him no.

It really upsets me as sometimes I don't like him and it kills me to say that. My parents sometimes say that I'm too soft with him and that's why he is as he is but my daughter is treated the same as she's golden!
Most afternoon's after nursery we do things like going to the farm, park, baking etc but it just ends up with me losing my temper and coming home as he can't follow instructions, runs off and ends up embarrassing me.

On the flip side he is so loving, is always saying he loves me and giving us hugs.. will share all his toys and if he has sweets etc..

He was born 6 weeks early and needed resuscitating but he has no long terms effects.

Does anyone have any advice? I dread him finishing nursery some days because I haven't got the energy to battle with him.


Thank you in advance! Sorry it's such a long essay 😖

[Jay2790]

Have you thought about SEN? Has this been mentioned by any of the professionals?

[notsmagec]

@Jay2790

Have you thought about SEN? Has this been mentioned by any of the professionals?

When he first started nursery one of the teachers mentioned referring him to an educational psychologist? But she left a month later and nothing has been mentioned since.. because his current teachers keep saying they think he will grow out of it as he matures, it's not been spoken about again.
We have got parents evening this week but I don't know how to approach it without being told again he will probably grow out of it.. I keep thinking that maybe they are right because they should know more than me regarding development and behaviour but I have a niggle at the back of my mind that something may be up.

[Jay2790]

You could speak to a HV. They could go into nursery and observe him.