The Terrible Ones- Is this normal for boys???

[LEMONADEGIRL]

ds is 13 mths, he has never been the type of baby to sit quiety playing if such babies exist. For teh about the last two months he has become a bit of a handful.

His play is really rough, wrestling mummy/daddy, generally charging around, banging everything cupboard doors etc. Empty everything on floor. Very lively, great fun and noisy.

He has to touch everyting the fire, the oven, small buttons on the dvd player etc. I say no and repeat it as of course he always does it again again. He now laughs at me as he thinks it is a game. Recently he has started to hit me as he gets cross with me saying no.

If he can't get his own way he throws a real tantrum on the floor howling at the unfairness of it all.

My dh thinks that I am to soft on him, as I do not really raise my voice just try and sound stern and then try distraction. Where as DH really shouts at him and gets frustrated when ds doesn't listen to him. I personally think it is unrealistic to expect ds to do as he is told. Combined this with sleep deprivation and it causing us to argue.

So really just wanted confirmation that this is all normal behaviour.

Thanks for reading

[Turkeyandsproutsx3]

Yes totally and my six year old is still like it!

Talking of children - must go get them from school!

[mishymoo]

Yip - absolutely normal! My DS did the same at that age and still does to a degree (he is now 2.4). In fact, you could have been describing my life a year ago to a tee (arguments and all!)

[PrettyCandles]

Nothing to do with being a boy, all to do with being a toddler. My 13mo is exactly the same. They know what "No" means, it means "Wow, if I do this I can get a reaction out of Mummy and Daddy! Wayhay!"

The only way to teach them the real meaning of NO, at this stage, is to break their spirits. Does your dh really want to do this?

The best way to deal with this right now is prevention: childlocks on cupboards, stairgates on kitchen doors, etc. It's almost certainly too late to start putting him in a playpen. Pack away delicate ornaments, only leave stuff you don't mind him getting at within reach. If possible, keep some toys in every room, and a cupboard/drawer/box that you dont' mind him ransacking.

And accept it.

[2Happy]

Sounds normal to me! Silver lining - makes the terrible twos seem better - mums of previous angels distressed at their tantrumming toddlers - by that time you've had a year to find strategies to deal with it, or just got so used to it that you won't notice any difference!
Best strategy I found was ignoring bad behaviour - very difficult at times esp when you're knackered, but it's amazing what you can block out.

[2Happy]

Actually, that post was rubbish! Ignoring works when they're in an established tantrum, but if you can distract them and avoid the tantrum it works best.

I'll stop posting now since clearly coherence not forthcoming today!

[DynamicNanny]

Definitely normal I speak from experience being a nursery nurse caring for up to 11 1-2 year olds within the same room - with help of course Don't worry - either ignore the behaviour - they son get bored, and pick your battles if there is something that is unsafe or where they are hurtig you say "that hurts", "we don't do this/that" and remove them from the situation, also you should know by now what seems to cause him to play up so distract, and/or remove him/object

[2Happy]

Sorry, no, that's why I corrected myself - distraction best. But when ds1 is in full throw (actually, now I think of it, he is (at 2.5) tonnes better than he was even 6m ago ) I would find something like housework to do to stop me getting upset and to stop me positively reinforcing it all.

Dammit, rewritten this about 10 times and still can't seem to get it out right. Proper brainfarts today, sorry!

[LEMONADEGIRL]

thanks for all your replies.

Ds tends to play up more when tired and as his sleep can be erratic it can be quite often.

Distraction does seem to be the most effective with him and also removing him from sitation.

I thought he was early for the terrible twos but by your replies it is so good to hear that he is normal behaviour.

He is such a lovely funny litle boy that the whole acting up doesn't really phase me unless it something dangerous.

Will have to invest in fire guard as he does try to eat the fake coal if am not on top of him. He loves bagging pan lids so that cupboard is okay. The food store is locked as it was consantly being emptied on the floor.

Will just have to get used to it

[LEMONADEGIRL]

btw not just you today 2happy, my spelling and I re- read it before posting

[2Happy]

Watch out for hunger too - always found with ds1 a mid-morning snack can help his behaviour a lot

[colditz]

Shouting at a one year old is pointless and miserable. Wait for him to grow outof it.

Get a fire guard, get a gate on the kitchen door, and get a screen of some sort over the DVD player. Don't expect him to learn to do as he is told, he won't for a long time, and some learn slower than others.

[colditz]

PS

he will really appreciate suitcase full of clothes and toys, to empty out and repack again ...and again ... and again.

[EffiePerine]

Boxes of stuff go down well with my DS (13 mo) and he is exactly the same - into everything, tantrums, the lot. Do you have an odd socks bag? DS loves it...

[LEMONADEGIRL]

I know whay you mean littlelapin, I had gone for a wee when came back to find ds eating the coal.

Good idea about the suitcase, will try that.

[Emprexia]

Lol, are you me?

You just completely described my life with 14mo DS at the moment, lmao.

The only way to deal with it is guards and locks and repeats of "No", and picking them up and physically moving them away with a stern "No"

DS knows what "no" means, but once in a while he likes to make sure that no, definitely means No.. lol,especially with the stand-by button on the Modem and the on/off switches of the radio and TV.. oh, and my Laptop.. and taking the CD's out of the CD rack..and

oh.. i could go on!