12 months old - worry about development

(10 Posts)
Tangi88 Tue 30-Mar-21 08:04:06


My DD is 12 months at the moment and I have a few concerns about her development.

What she does:
- She shows/points/reaches with whole hand
- She is very smiley
- She laughs when we play peekaboo
- She enjoys playing hide and seek
- She loves her food
- She just now started taking a few independent steps
- She adjusted very well at the nursery she started a month ago
- She sleeps through the night
- She shows me and brings me toys and books
- When I ask her where is the X thing or X person she finds it and shows it to me
- She helps me dress her and when I say lift your foot she does it
- She giggles, make noises but mainly with vowels
- She cries when she is upset and when she is alone
- She comes to me and lifts her hands to be held
- She claps and waves -most of the times- when I clap or wave

What she doesn’t do:
- She is not babbling consistently, only occasionally 1-2 times per day. Nowhere near baby jargon. Nowhere near first words.
- She doesn’t point with her index finger (only with whole palm)
- She doesn’t copy me well. For example if I touch my nose and tell her to touch her nose she won’t do it.
- When I call her name she responds most of the times but when she is very much into something e.g to find her sock that she discovered under the sofa then she just ignores me
-She doesn’t copy what I say. For example when I say to her “say mama” , she won’t say it

What worries me:
- Sometimes maybe once or twice a day she shakes her head left to right like she is saying no without meaning no of course

Please help me and advice me on how you think my 12 month old behaves...

Her peers are babbling away and pointing with index finger and for this reason I don’t know whether she needs to be assessed by HV.

Any similar experience? Do I need to worry?

Thank you all!

OP’s posts: |
Eggcellent29 Tue 30-Mar-21 10:01:11


What you have described sounds perfectly normal. I honestly wouldn’t worry!

The rate of development in this age group varies wildly. I’m a childcare provider, so have seen hundreds of children at this age and they are all so different.

Look at it this way - the development targets we use professionally for this age are set in a range of 8 - 20 months. Any time during this period is normal.

I wouldn’t worry about language skills at this age AT ALL. She is making sounds, that’s the main thing. She may just be a quiet person! She is showing that she can understand you and follow basic instructions.

As for pointing - yes, lots of children point at this age. But lots of children also don’t clap, walk, get items and bring them to you, etc. So I wouldn’t worry.

The head shaking thing - she may mean yes? It’s a LOT harder to nod your head than it is to shake it, so often small children will shake their head for both. They also sometimes do it because it feels funny! So I wouldn’t worry.

Your daughter sounds bang on track. From what you’ve said, I don’t see any red flags at all. You’re clearly a very caring Mummy and she is very lucky to have you teaching her!

Tangi88 Tue 30-Mar-21 10:11:09

Thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance as a professional.

I will try enjoy more her little self rather than constant worrying whether she is ok.

I wouldn’t say she shakes her head for yes though. She does it maybe in the car seat, during a nappy change when she is frustrated or even at her high chair. She does it either as a funny thing and smiles when I stop her head but some times I think she does it unintentionally. Hopefully, it’s just a phase and she will stop doing it...

Thank you so much again! Your reply really means so much to me.

OP’s posts: |
Tristonsmumma Sun 04-Apr-21 22:57:39

Hello my son is similar to your daughter, he will be 13 months in a week still no words no clapping no pointing and not imitating me, he understands a few things like bring me the ball book etc and waves bye when prompted to. He also has some sensory issues with playdough and most gooey things and does the head shake alot when in his high chair

Tangi88 Sun 04-Apr-21 23:17:55

Hello, thanks for your reply and congratulations for your baby (maybe toddler!) boy.

Are you worried and stressed about it?

Does he shakes the head only at his high chair? My daughter does it at the high chair, during nappy changes but also at random moments when no one looks at her which is the scariest of all...

Is your boy babbling at all?

Do you mean that he doesn’t like play dough?

OP’s posts: |
Tristonsmumma Mon 05-Apr-21 19:37:58

İ am very freaked out about it! We live in a small island south cyprus and dont have much experienced practioners in this field ive made an appointment to see a child psychologist on the 16 th of March to get him evaluated but so far his pediatrician doesnt seem to be concerned so ive basically booked it myself without a referral. He only had one word Dada and does babble sometimes but not much, i feel as though his always busy with other things i cant read or sing to him for 1 minute he will just be up and gone, and constantly whines to get what he wants if i dont give it to him right away he will eventually do a hand point , i havent seen him shake his head elsewhere only in his high chair which he hates! And he has some sort of issue with touching things like bubble bath he will have his hands up when i first put him in then eventually gets used to it same with most textures actually (sand , jelly, flour) his quite reluctant at first i sometimes try to believe that he could just have a introverted personality, he does interAct sometimes though he loves peekaboo and laughs histerically when we makr silly faces at him bu will never copy any gesture or sounds (animal) he used to put the phone to his ear or try to brush his hair when he was around 10 months but now thats gone and all he does is put the phone to my ear or try to brush my hair but wont do it to himself i dont know whether that counts as imitating 🤷🏻‍♀️ İm reaLly messed up loosing sleep and appatite over these issues so i just want to know if there is anything wrong so that i can get all the help he needs 🙏🏻

Tristonsmumma Mon 05-Apr-21 19:42:04

Oh and the part where you mentioned shes busy trying to find a sock under the bed or elsewhere my son does that alot too hes constantly throwing and rolling things under the couch and bending down to look at them

Tangi88 Mon 05-Apr-21 20:26:25

We come from Greece, not too far from you then.

My daughter doesn’t imitate any sounds as well and doesn’t have any words. She does imitate though a few things like talking at the phone, giving a hug, brushing hair, petting our dog... she also does clap and wave and give kisses occasionally but not always. As for pointing she is only doing with the whole hand... and she only babbles occasionally maybe a few times each day.

She is also overly energetic like your son. She never sits down, she only enjoys reading books just before bedtime along with her milk, she is constantly on the go crawling from kitchen to living room and back and always carrying something!

I understand your worries and I know that most people try to calm us down, and they may be right of course. The most annoying thing to me is that no one can diagnose a baby that young as ours and we have to wait and see. Either weird behaviors will stop and our babies will catch up with their peers eventually or weird behaviors will be exaggerated... we need to wait and see! It’s very frustrating but there is nothing else we can do.

I haven’t visited a paed yet but if yours is happy with your son, then that’s good! Keep focusing on the good things. The most important thing is to keep our babies happy, if yours is happy, they you should be too. Easy to say and hard to do but I am also saying it for myself...

When is your appointment with the psychologist? I am asking as you mentioned March...

Also, I am not sure if a psychologist would assist more or a neurologist...

OP’s posts: |
pickaxer Mon 05-Apr-21 23:04:42

The pointing you still have until about 18 months, before that is considered a red flag. Model the pointing, so sit with a book and say "dog" and you point to it. Point up when you see a bird or a plane and say the single word . Do lots of repetition of single words, labelling everything you play with together as you pick it up or as she does- ball, duck, doll, spoon, orange. Label yourself pointing to you Mum and her DD-name. Animals noises and things like oh no are things young children pick up more easily and they absolutely count. Remember baby words aren't perfect so dig might be da, of d to start with.

The head shake could be frustration, but think the first poster is right, they are all different and have their quirks. You are being a great mum noticing what she can and can't do, but don't let the anxiety take over. Distract her from the behaviour you don't like with something, a toy- "oh car" push it along past her or shake a musical instruct or start singing a favourite song with actions like wheels on the bus . Do lots of talking face to face, down at her level on the floor, single words and encourage her to make sounds.

All parents will tell you as soon as your child can say a word like
dog and you want to showcase it they 100% won't say it if you say "Say dog." FACT grin

EgSk Tue 06-Apr-21 14:42:50

My 25 month old still won’t say a word when I ask him to lol!!! He only talks on his terms !

Your 12 month old sounds perfectly normal !

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