Help - unbearable screaming in 22month old

[Pennies]

DD2 is a screamer. She has been since the moment she was born and instead of it easing off as she is getting oldr it just seems to be getting shriller and shirller and louder and louder and more and more persistent.

Until recently I put it down to the frustration of not being able to communicate properly but she's talking really quite well now and it's just the same.

I have tried ignoring, time out (not too sure if that's any good for a child so young though), talking to her about it and explaining that she shouldn't do it, I've even bellowed back and today I lost the plot completely with her and really screamed at her myself. None of the above worked and today's episode made me feel utterly awful and ashamed of myself and I ended up crying.

Does anyone have any tips about how to try and stop this? I'm really worried about how this is affecting my relationship with her. She's an adorable, cheeky and gloriously affectionate little thing and I love her to bits but this is so hideous to live with and it's making me just want to leg it (not that I ever would BTW!).

[whomovedmychocolate]

Oh dear, I feel for you, I've known a few parents with screamers! It does pass.

Without wishing to rile you, are you reinforcing this behaviour in any way. I know you've said you ignore her. But have you tried putting her in the car, locking the doors and just standing a distance away while she has her tissy?

What about trying rewarding her for not having tantrums (sticker charts and prizes for ten stickers come to mind).

Don't beat yourself up for yelling back, when you can't think straight because of the screaming it's hard not to snap!

Either that or you'll have to put her on ebay

[Pennies]

I'm not sure she'd understand the concept of a sticker chart.

Interesting re. reinforcing it but I'm not sure what you mean though. I think that by screaming back at her today then yes, that's exactly what I did but I was at breaking point. I've done the shut in the car / put in her cot thing and on each occasion she was in there for 45 minutes and still going strong, although by then she was in such a state she was screaming because she'd got herself so upset and I felt very uncomfortable with that.

I'm strict with her and try not to let her get her own way by screaming but often it's sheer exuberance rather than temper which in a way is tougher to deal with because I think it's great to hear a child utterly lit up by something it's doing but just not at the level she's doing it.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Hmm, she's sparky right? How about finding a positive way she can use her voice -singing lessons, joining a choir? I know she's very little but even a karaoke machine (I'm so sorry to suggest inflicting this on you) but maybe right now she just needs to make noise?

[Pennies]

Sparky doesn't even begin to describe her.

Karaoke? DD2? Oh. My. God... I see your point though .

[whomovedmychocolate]

Actually send her to stage school, she'll exhaust herself with tissys and won't be out of place ha!

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

Pennies - I do sympathise as I have a screaming 18mo and her 3 yo brother delights in joining in when she starts . The other day when bathing them I actually started hearing whistling in my ears as they were screaming in unison - at a pitch so high that I expected to see all the neighbourhood dogs lined up outside

I get headaches all the time from the noise and am frequently shamed in tesco's by the noise she makes. She is a lovely happy child but the manner she chooses to epress her joy pains me... I am encouraging her to sing and do a hapy dance instead - this is beginning to work as I greet her attempts at 'twinkle twinkle' and row row row your boat - with much claping etc. Unfortunately the toddler group version of row row row your boat includes scraming when you see the crocodile which of course she loves!

I think it will settle down a bit as she learns about social acceptablility etc. but some teenage girls scream even louder than dd - so I imagine it will get worse again in a few years - in the meantime I may invest in some ear plugs!

We have bought a mike stand with disco lights and an applause button etc. for xmas though so encouraging the performing side of your d may work for you too!?

Good luck...

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

sorry about all the typo#s I am knackered and can barely see let alone type straight tonight