11 month old tantrums and stranger anxiety - how to handle ?

(3 Posts)
funnygirlmum Wed 16-Dec-20 08:56:39

Hello ! My 11 month old baby girl has changed a little over the last three weeks I would say. She suddenly understands a lot more stuff - she knows who we are and calls us mama and dada, she puts the phone to her ear and calls out nana because we talk to her every day on FaceTime. She knows lots of cool stuff and tries to copy stuff we say. Etc etc..

But she also is very bad tempered a lot and I'm not sure if I'm handling it correctly. She just won't stay still at nappy changes obviously or when I'm dressing her. Then she just looses it and screams and cries so much. I try to distract her by giving her stuff to play with or singing etc but sometimes nothing works and she just goes absolutely mental. Also when she wants something she can't have, she goes absolutely mental too. I try to distract her, talk to her nicely, explain why she can't have it, give her a cuddle etc. Is that the right thing to do ? My mum thinks I need to be firmer and just ' teach her ' not to behave like that. I'm not sure how to do that. I do firmly say no too.

The other thing she's going through is stranger anxiety. How should I respond to that? I give her cuddles and try to distract her and tell her it's ok and that it's a nice person etc and she doesn't need to be worried. But I let her take her time to warm up and I don't force her. My husband said ' we need to stop her from being like that '... I don't really think it's something you can stop. It's a phase and normal. But I don't want to make it worse by molly coddling her through it too much. I try to get the person she's anxious about involved in play with her and I and stay near her and encourage her and after a while she's usually ok. Is that the right way ? Also she knows all our family members and is happy with everyone but she always gets stranger anxiety with her uncle and it's really upsetting. He loves her so much. I wonder why it's always with him only ? Sometimes with her grandpa but not as much. But with her uncle, every time- even though she sees him at least weekly, it's always the same. Any advice appreciated. Please be honest.

OP’s posts: |
JingleJohnsJulie Thu 17-Dec-20 08:14:49

I haven't got time to rely right now but will try to come back later.

Hopefully this will bump for you though and you'll get some replies smile

imamearcat Thu 17-Dec-20 20:16:25

My daughter was just like this and I've got to say it carried on for a LONG time! But she is now a sociable 5yo.. so it does end!

With the tantrums just stay calm and don't give in. Hard when she's so little but pick your battles a bit. Try not to force anything that's not completely necessary. Have you tried the pull on nappies?? Loads easier for wriggly toddlers and o always think they look comfier.

Stranger danger, my DD was really bad for. She's still shy with strangers. With her it's been better if people back off a bit, she hated it if people jump in to great her all loud and smiley. I would get people to just come in quietly, you chat as normal and then if they get an opportunity or she goes to them, offer to play quietly but don't force anything. At the same time try not to indulge her if she starts kicking off if someone new is in the house. Don't tell her off or anything but she needs to understand it's normal to be around new people so don't reassure her too much or she will think there is good reason for her being upset.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in