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Advice regarding daughter

(4 Posts)
choccybuttonshelpeverything Sun 06-Sep-20 13:20:21

Hi firstly I'd like to say I am suffering post Partum anxiety and stress so how I feel may be exacerbated.
My nearly 5 year old daughter is away camping with DH this weekend. On both occasions there have been to FaceTime she has point blanked refused to speak to me and given a hellava lot of attitude in the way she has verbalised this.
Firstly I'm gutted! I do everything for that child. I prepared all the fun stuff for her to take, then dad gets to go have all the fun.
Secondly how do I react to this. I'm torn between ignore it she's a child and on the other hand I want to make her realise her actions affect others. I do feel her behaviour is basic bad manners.
I don't want to teach her she has to be made to talk to someone she doesn't want to but similarly she can't be rude, and should learn if she doesn't treat people kindly they won't treat her nicely in return (of course the reality is she's my child, I'll always treat her kindly, and I have to put a brave face on how I feel and not project onto her)
Sorry it is a bit rambling. Any advice?

OP’s posts: |
corythatwas Mon 07-Sep-20 09:25:07

I think you are really too hard on your daughter here. For children, being away from a parent is a big upheaval, and face time can quite simply be too distressful to cope with. I remember my little nephew not wanting to speak to his dad (who lived abroad) because, as he said, "it makes me too sad". This is not about good manners, it's about a situation she finds too stressful, at a time when she should be having fun. Please send a message about how pleased you are for her and how excited you will be to hear about everything she's done later. She's such a little girl.

choccybuttonshelpeverything Mon 07-Sep-20 10:18:35

Thanks @corythatwas I just needed a sense of perspective. I suspect I do expect a lot from her as she's always seemed so much older than her years due to her excellent vocabulary. I hadn't thought of it as a wee defence mechanism.
As I mum I think we just try to do our best to raise a well rounded child and perhaps I'm guilty of over analysing

OP’s posts: |
corythatwas Mon 07-Sep-20 10:36:26

I had one like that: excellent language skills and easy to forget what a little girl she still was. But I would assume this is a measure of how much she misses you and store that up as a warm thought against her return.

Further memory: when my dc were little we used to spend a month at my parents abroad while dh was working. They didn't speak of dad much and didn't seem to miss him. But one day we were celebrating my parents' Golden Wedding and as part of the celebrations my mum had put up our wedding photograph as well. Ds, who was 4-5 at the time, burst into tears and refused to go in the room: seeing the picture of his daddy brought it home to him how much he missed him.

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