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15mo kissing other children(6 Posts)
My DS is very affectionate. Gives me, his dad and grandparents lots of cuddles and 'kisses' - for me a kiss is a big wet smackeroo on the lips and for others it's more of a forhead bump/nose kiss.
As we have started to see more children again I've noticed he is very affectionate with everyone. Lots of cuddles and a few nose kisses for his friends. I think this is cute of course because he is my pfb but a reaction I got from a mum today suggests not everyone does.
Is this invading other childrens space or just sweet? I'd be sad to discourage him and make him self conscious this early but equally is this the time to introduce boundaries?
I wouldn't mind if your DS gave my dc a kiss or showed affection. My DS also is affectionate, I monitor him though to make sure he is gentle. Maybe you could start saying stuff like- kisses are only for so and so. I had a woman giving me the evils when DS ran towards her child, mind you DS is only 16 months and I picked him up before he approached but I guess people are worried because of Covid but that reaction really annoyed me as DS was so happy to see another child and that child was so happy to see DS too and was really friendly.
We have a 14mo kisser too! I wouldn’t mind if your LO nose-kissed my DD. Similar situation to yours.
Yes, it’s an anxious time but, at this age, in agreeing to mix with other children parents already factor in the risk. I’d say whether they’re hanging out together/sharing playground props/sharing snacks/passing toys or giving each other the occasional nose kiss it doesn’t make much difference and whatever germs there are will be exchanged. So the risk assessment comes when you make the decision to go somewhere, iyswim. I’d only make an exception if the child was visibly unwell and distance or if they were rough. But, as you say, OP, your LO is gentle.
You don't need to necessarily start suggesting that he stop now, but you absolutely should be checking that other parents and their DC are actually comfortable with this... I'm a bit at posters being irked about other parents not being comfortable with some interaction... That's their decision to make as parents. As you make decisions about yours. You've no idea of the health of other people's kids, whether they're just getting over illness that they don't want to pass on themselves, or if they have underlying health conditions as a child etc.
It's a bit like offering food to kids, right? It's a nice thing to do but you wouldn't do it without checking their parent/s are happy because you don't know the implications.
So: it doesn't need to be a all kisses ok/only kisses for family thing.
Just check it's ok if you don't know the kid or parent.
You need to ask/train him to ask or he could end up hurt or make others uncomfortable.
By the first comment I mean a child doesn't know if your son is going to hug or push them/kiss or bite them so might react as though it's the latter in self defence and push him away or something.
Other kids may not be as tactile as yours and not like hugs and kisses- especially if your son has a snotty noise or a dirty face (as many toddlers do) It is important for him to learn that not everybody likes hugs and for people to ask him before a hug and kiss (bodily autonomy)
Thanks all. He is quite a big boy so I can see how other children may be wary. He gets upset when I try intervene if parent/child not happy which breaks my heart a but I suppose its s lesson he needs to learn. It's only with children of friends we know well as that's only who are seeing at the moment! None of them are particularly concerned with the pandemic in relation to the children, I think it is more about him being big which I understand. He is very gentle though and monitored always.
One made a crack about her son being 'violated' which upset me a
bit. I think I am being over sensitive. I was such a shy and reserved child I am over the moon to have an outgoing and affectionate son and scared I'll make him feel ashamed on some level.