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Jealous of newborn

(7 Posts)
HP2020 Wed 19-Aug-20 08:59:52

Does this go away? Toddler 2.5 met his younger brother last night. He looked at him etc but when I was cuddling the newborn I think he got a bit upset. Then I swapped and cuddled toddler and hubby showed newborn a bit later but again not too interested and a few tears

I know it's super early days but how long should it last roughly based on experiences here? Both boys

OP’s posts: |
corythatwas Wed 19-Aug-20 14:46:49

Varies wildly ime. But I'd be prepared for a few months at the least. Make sure you make time for him even if it means baby sometimes has to wait. If your dh is on the scene, make sure he sometimes takes the baby so you can focus on the toddler. Has he had a present from baby brother? Could he buy a present for baby brother? (Ideally, the present he gets should be rather more impressive than the one he gives away)

Don't expect him to take an interest: he is under no obligation. Be prepared for him to voice (in as far as his language allows) that baby brother is ugly and boring and should go away. Reassure him and cuddle him and let him know how much he is loved!

Keep an eye on him- they have little impulse control at this age and could easily end up hurting a baby without meaning to. I used not to leave my 3yo alone with the baby. They have grown up very close friends.

Find something you can do with him while tending to the baby. Read a story or sing with him while feeding. Talk to him as well while changing nappy. Talk to the baby about his special brother but don't overdo it- it's better not to sound anxious about their need to love each other.

Maybe find a game they can both do. My dd was a little older, but we used to do this pretend game where the bed became a car and baby brother was the driver (lying flat on his back waving his arms in the air) and took big sister to places she decided on.

Be kind, don't worry too much about him.

UpsAndDowns13 Wed 19-Aug-20 15:38:56

There's 2.5 years between mine and I'll be honest the first month was rough. Be kind to yourself. It broke my heart feeling torn between hungry newborn and emotional toddler, we all cried a LOT those first few weeks. By 12 weeks things had improved no end, hang in there.

Rubyroost Thu 20-Aug-20 21:50:15

Lasted 2 or 3 weeks here. I had a really sleepy placid baby so able to love bomb my toddler and give him loads of attention. He absolutely adores his 6 month brother now, it's wonderful to see. He's 2.5 btw

readty Thu 20-Aug-20 22:15:16

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HP2020 Fri 21-Aug-20 09:46:55

Today is breaking my heart already. As soon as I picked up my baby to feed him, my toddler got so upset. If I'm
Playing with toddler on our own he's fine but when we sit as a 3 or a 4 he's not happy but I don't want to have to keep doing things separately otherwise he will never get used to his brother. I'm so sad right now

OP’s posts: |
Rubyroost Fri 21-Aug-20 11:21:27

He will get used to it, can you get him to help by getting nappies etc. My toddler would tell me to put baby back in his rocker or play cushion etc, now when we go out he says 'get baby brother'. Have some special toys for him to play with whilst you feed. Give him plenty of attention, have his brother there in a rocker, bouncer, moses basket etc whilst you play with him.
His world has changed massively, he's no longer the only one, hell get used to it. Don't let the cries break your heart, he will be fine. X

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