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1 year old - when is the time for discipline and how??

(13 Posts)
Webdiva Mon 01-Oct-07 11:44:57

Yikes! My 1 year old has started to laugh at me when I tell him no. He's started to enjoy tryig to grab my glasses off my nose, and sometimes to smack my face ( all in a game playing way, not really nastily). I've told him firmly "no" and put him down and stopped giving him attention when he does,but now he just laughs and tries to do it again, - driving me crazy!

lilolilmanchester Mon 01-Oct-07 11:47:04

Frustrating, but you are handling it in the right way. Find the patience to say firmly no, but him down, and ignore, over and over and over. Saw something like this on a TV programme, and the parents had to repeat the same thing 40+ times.... but hopefully by starting this young, he'll get the message a lot quicker. Hard on you tho.

Webdiva Mon 01-Oct-07 12:04:25

Thank you, I thought I was on the right lines, just so demoralising when it doesn't seem to work but I'll keep at it! It is tough - can't believe the emotion it brings up almost feels like i'm being bullied!!!! {{hangs on to hat and remembers who's the adult here}}

Should I start to have a naughty spot type thing? - I put him down the other day and he went on his merry way playing with his toys - arrgh!

lilolilmanchester Mon 01-Oct-07 12:07:42

Not sure what age they will start responding to a naughty spot - hopefully someone else will have that advice. I know it's demoralising when something doesn't work, but you have to try to keep doing it over and over, and be consistent. Not that I ever got it right with mine all the time, much easier to say what you SHOULD do when you don't actually have to do it! Good luck!

bluejelly Mon 01-Oct-07 12:20:05

Ignore and distract eg the moment they start behaving 'badly', suddenly interest them in another activity.
Usually works.
No need for punishment or to teach them a lesson, they are too young for it

HonoriaGlossop Mon 01-Oct-07 12:21:19

Web, I think your approach is spot on - don't doubt yourself. The thing that's hard to remember sometimes is that doing the right thing does not always result in the behaviour instantly ceasing....but it will work if you persevere.

I think with a one year old saying No, and putting him down is enough, you don't need to worry about withdrawing your attention for a set length of time or anything; distraction will work better. Say NO, put him down, then get on the floor and start playing with something, or hand him something, or suddenly think you see a digger going by outside, or something!

He's not being naughty laughing at your 'No', he's just trying to play a game; so give him a game, just one that is appropriate and that he is allowed!

Walnutshell Mon 01-Oct-07 12:23:59

I agree with bluejelly. Don't think "discipline" at this age, more "development"... So, you are developing and encouraging desirable behaviour and ignoring (wherever possible!) the behaviour you don't want to see. Remember that at this young age, it's all part of his learning curve through experimentation and you don't want to be feeling like you are saying "no" all day long. He will generally get the hang of doing that which receives a positive reception - honest! Good luck.

Webdiva Mon 01-Oct-07 12:40:43

Thank you all so much. It did seem a bit early to be thinking about naughty spots, just remember hearing somewhere about leaving them for a minute for every year of age so wondered if from a year it might be appropriate.

I think it's all feeling a bit hard going - we were in a such a lovely place a few weeks ago, seemed to have a handle on everything - he was napping regularly and going down easily at night. Now his naps have gone down to one a day but the timing of this one nap is really erratic, so feels like I don't know what I'm doing or when I'm meant to be doing it!
Sorry to rant, been doing a lot of it lately but it oh so helps!!

Thank you again

aDad Mon 01-Oct-07 12:46:51

at the same stage with dd2 ourselves - 11 months old and just wants to grab anything and everything (particularly dangerous or expensive things) and put them in her mouth.

You do get days feeling like you have just said 'no' the entire day. It's tiring but definitely they are too young for punishment or naughty spots etc at this age. Bluejelly's distraction technique is good I reckon.

imagineafullnightsleep Mon 01-Oct-07 15:31:15

My ds is 12 months - and we've got the same problem too. He likes to bang things - including the remote control against the side of my head !!! I'm doing the same as you at the moment - just saying "no" and putting him down, or moving him away from me. I've noticed, if I just say 'no' he keeps doing it, and laughing, but if I move him directly infront of me, or move myself directly infront of him, look him straight in the eye, and say "No" whilst pointing at him (sounds weird, but hopefully you know what I mean!) then he seems to stop (well, for an hour or so anyway !) Might be worth a try.
Re. the naps - I had exactly the same problem 2 months ago, and a friend of mine (who has 3 dc) said to me "why don't you tell him when his nap is" ! Which, I thought initially would never work - but in the main, it seems to. I put ds down after lunch, whether he's awake or asleep, and he will fall asleep without any fuss pretty quickly. The only time I change this, is if he falls asleep on his morning bottle (does happen now and again). If he dozes off, then I put him down, and true to form, he wakes up about an hour later.

Webdiva Mon 01-Oct-07 19:04:11

I do so know what you mean, and for a while I thought I'd cracked it - couple of straight looks and he stopped, then a couple of days later he started laughing!! But persevere I will.

Glad I'm not the only one with the nap thing and I think after lunch will be a good time evenutally, he just can't seem to go quite that long yet through the morning without one, and then it's always a toss up between lunch and his nap!

It's those days that everything else gets out of kilter wink

By the way, being smacked on the cheekbone with the remote is my second regret of ever letting him have the blasted thing! That and him hiding it in his shape sorter!!

imagineafullnightsleep Tue 02-Oct-07 12:52:26

I'm so glad someone else has the remote control problem !! (Purely selfish emoticon !!) I know what you mean about the nap thing - and lasting till lunch time, like I said, some days my ds can't stay awake that long, so I put him down after his morning bottle. If I do that, then lunch time just becomes a bit later. He doesn't seem to mind though. Might be worth a try?

Webdiva Wed 03-Oct-07 19:55:58

Thanks we've had a much better day today all round plus we had first steps which were fab! Was sure I would miss them as I work too so that was a definate bonus. Think I'm just paranoid about ds eating well as he's had a couple of bugs lately and needs to catch up a bit. But calmed down I have and got back that go with the flow feeling so thanks to all x

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