Is it colic??

[Atticus500]

For the last couple of weeks DD (8 weeks) has been prone to evening meltdowns (about an hour of intense crying for no reason). She won’t take the boob, won’t calm down with white noise, doesn’t need burping etc. We normally have to distract her to get her to stop. My husband says it’s not colic because we can console her eventually, and it doesn’t last 3 hours, though I am (as a first time mum) finding it incredibly difficult to deal with (I’m also currently being treated for PPD). Is this “fusiness” which will get better? I keep hearing that 12 weeks is the time for improvement in these sorts of behaviours - is that true in your experience? I should add I have found parenthood very difficult so any encouragement for better things to come would be appreciated!

[Hartleyhare1206]

Hi @Atticus500 so sorry your having such a rough time of it. Sounds like your a lovely mummy doing all the right things.
It’s hard to know if it’s colic, fussiness or whether it’s tiredness/overtiredness making her a bit frantic and wired...how is she the rest of the time?
My DD is 3 now but I can vividly remember how much despair I felt in those first few weeks and how hard it all was, and have a really strong memory of one particular Friday afternoon just sat holding a screaming and inconsolable angry baby that just wouldn’t be settled and just bursting in to tears to my mum and sobbing that it wasn’t supposed to be like this!! It was so hard.
My close friend (and mum of 3) told me that things start to get better around the 12 week mark, and I just remember laughing and thinking there’s no way I’d even survive that much longer! Her advice was to take it a day at a time and try and stay calm. I took it rather literally and crosssed each day off in my diary at the end of each day! I know that sounds stupid but it felt good to be counting down to things getting better! The good need is that things did improve around that time. I can’t say it was bang on 12 weeks or that it happened all of a sudden, but rather I had this realisation that things were better, and had gradually been getting that way for a while. She was more settled, we were both better rested and it was easier to enjoy her a bit more rather than just endure and survive.
Hang on in there, it won’t always be this way - as they get bigger their digestive systems start to function better, they become more interesting and you get more back from them which makes it feel more worthwhile. As you catch up on sleep you can think clearer and start to try and get yourselves in to a routine to make sure she is well rested and having the best chances at good sleep, which in turn means you can sleep and face it all with more humour rather than desperation.
Keep going, you’re doing great xx

[w148153p]

I completely understand what you are going through. My boy will be 8 weeks on Friday and pretty much having the same situation as you. My son is better in the morning but from 2pm until bed time he can be agitated, and it is worse when he has trapped wind or needs to open his bowels. Sometimes we can be spending ages trying all sorts, feeding breast and then bottle, burping, rocking, leg exercises, tummy massages and if all else fails... we put on a musical on TV... but this is not always guaranteed to work. I think what we are going through is normal and it is a case of ticking the boxes of what the child can want. All i can say is ask your husband to take over care in the evening so you get to lay down for an hour or have a bath.

[Max1140]

Keep going, you’re doing great! Raising a baby is frigging hard work!

I experienced this. Our boy had an undiagnosed tongue tie, and reflux. But what helped most was actually sleep training! getting him to sleep more - yes more - during the day meant he slept more at night. So he was better rested, no more screaming.

[w148153p]

Where did you learn how to sleep train?

[Max1140]

@w148153p in our case, just by reading a book called the baby sleep solution and speaking to one friend in particular who seemed to have nailed it. This is our first baby, neither of us had a clue about nap length, how long they can be awake for at any given age, or getting baby to go to sleep by himself. As soon as we sorted those things the nights got much easier.