Tantrums:What do you do?

[lucyellensmum]

Ok, 2.2 year old just starting to have tantrums, nothing major (yet). Today was by far the biggest. It all started because she wanted my mobile, she couldnt have it, so i put it out of reach and she started crying, then dp came up from the shed (works from home) to see what was wrong. So instead of me being able to distract her, it turned into a full blown tantrum as she has him wrapped around her little finger. Anyway, that is by the by, i made him leave and said i would deal with it.

At first, i just left her to scream and bawl and jump up and down yelling for daddy. This went on for a while and i could see no end to it so i sort of restrained her on my lap,well when i say restrained, tried cuddles but you know how they are, all stiff and no no no, she did react quite violently to this (i have the pinch and bite marks to prove it) but she did settle down and i managed to distract her with something on telly. Then out of the blue she started again but didnt take long to calm her this time. So, now she is in bed after a fairly non eventful lunch, although daddy re appeared and this meant she managed to black mail him to sit with her by pretending to want to watch things on cbbess, she doesnt usually bother with the telly so i knew she was being manipulative (thats my girl).

Strangely enough i didnt feel at all stressed, i was quite objective trying to think of how to make her feel better and end the paddy. But i am not sure that i really handled it that well as it seemed to go on and on. I just wondered if anyone, im sure you do, have any strategies they follow with regards to tempers in 2 year olds. I'm not worried about her at all, i know its perfectly normal behaviour and she is a tad spoilt by her daddy which does make things worse and i end up having to deal with the pair of them half the time as he will give in to her every demand and she knows this.

So ladies, what did you do, what worked, what didn't. I would like to have a strategy as i want to be consistent. I don't go in for strict discipline but i know there must be some bounderies etc.

[Mung]

DS is only just 2 and he hasn't had any major tantrums yet, so i will definitely be watching this thread for tips.

Here is what i do at the moment:
I ignore as much as possible (helps me deal with it more than anything) then I try and distract. Sometimes, when its floods of tears and he cannot talk, I sit on the floor and keep saying "do you want a cuddle?" DS eventually has a big cuddle.

In shops, I scoop him up under my arm and hold him so I cannot see his face and carry on with what I am doing. People just have to get out of the way of the kicking legs.

[law3]

hi ya, arr she is still only a baby. When my ds was that age, he used to head butt the floor in a paddy.

If i ignored the tantrum, he would head butt the floor for full affect. When he first started i was shocked and worried he would hurt himself, if i intervened he would kick and punch etc. So i then ignored it and would leave the room, the head butting was to get my attention and he soon stopped.

only advice would be ignore, ignore, ignore!!

[lucyellensmum]

yes, ignore is my usual fall back, which is what i try to persuade dp to do, but it IS his little princess so..........

But yes, ignore, i think maybe if ihad left the room that might have illicited a response. But heres hoping for a peaceful rest of day

[bubblagirl]

i would also say to ignore they create more knowing you will eventually have enough and say something if it gets too much put in time out just to calm dowm and give you time to calm down as soon as they realise that behaviour doesn't work they soon stop

time out works well with my ds as he will keep going knowing eventually i'll react so i move him into hall i tell him to calm down then he can come to me and we'l;l do painting or play doh he comes in gives me cuddle and we'll doa n activity always good to just remove from situation for you and them

[cktwo]

Definately ignore. I leave mine in a place where she can't hurt herself and leave her to it. Even in the soft playcentre we go to sometimes I've just put her on the floor away from anything hard and turned my back. People may look at you weird but who cares!

I find that any interaction just prolongs the paddy. When she's calmed down I then start playing with her toys and invite her to join in and carry on as normal.

(I'm not saying this method is necessarily easy but it does seem to work)

[pooka]

ignore ignore ignore.
If really giving a lot of welly, I find holding close, kind of pinned, helps.

[Acinonyx]

My dd (26 mo) is also daddy's princess and it is hard when he's within range - he will just do anything she wants!

First I offer cuddles - and occaisionally that is accepted. If she resists, I try to distract her if I can - if she persists I ignore her (freakin' impossible if daddy's there). I have found that saying 'stop wailing' in a firm voice sometimes stops her in her tracks but I think that will wear off.