20 month old hysterical at "normal" things, anyone else have a similar child?

[LauraL1985]

Since about 7 months old my son has seemed a little different to the vast majority of children I see in the world, now at 20 months old I'm wondering if we need to seek further professional advice or if some of this stuff is actually far more normal that I think....

• hates new indoor places and places he doesn't go often = whole body shaking, sobbing, clambering at me even if I'm holding him. Seems fine if we go somewhere new for a walk outdoors.

• really uncomfortable with a lot of textures, won't go near them, gets very upset when he does...sand, mud, grass barefoot, won't stroke our dogs, hates stuffed toys, squishy foods like muffins/quiches

• generally hates adults! God help anyone stranger who tries to talk to him, he just starts crying

• not a fan of places with lots of noise / people. Shook/sobbed and was absolutely miserable at toddler play class that had soft play with music then group activities. We tried just watching from the side for a while and the instructor was nice enough to bring activity bits to us but he just went hysterical when she came near or tried to talk to him. Swim class became an absolute disaster too

• at home he is incredibly busy, wants to know how everything works, takes things apart, picks up puzzles etc extremely quickly and has an amazing memory. Getting him to sit still for more than a couple of minutes is pretty impossible.

• very resistant to any new foods that weren't introduced within the first 6 months of weaning.

• at 20 months still doesn't form any words fully

Any thoughts would be welcome
Laura

I guess that's

[123Dancewithme]

It sounds like he has quite a sensitive temperament, and sounds similar to my 23 month old DS. He doesn’t like unfamiliar things/places, often cries when strangers talk to him, and dislikes certain textures. He never joins in with things like finger painting at nursery as he doesn’t like getting the paint on his hands, and we got him a sand and water table for the garden and he won’t play with it at all because he doesn’t like touching the sand. I think it’s just the way he is.

[AladdinMum]

How is his non verbal communication with you to meet his needs and to share interests? so for example gesturing with pointing to request and share interests being the big one.

[GenericUsername101]

My DS sound like he was a lot like yours at that age:

• petrified of other children and new people
• wouldn't engage at playgrounds/soft play etc
• clingy, cried and insisted on me carrying him in new places
• a bit slow in his speech
• he also hated being messy, getting his hands dirty etc

The good news is he's now 3 1/2 and though still a bit shy around new people he's happy getting out and about, gets involved in new activities no problem, speaks well (and a lot!) and is altogether very calm and confident. My younger son is 2 1/2 and has shown lots of these behaviours too but to a lesser extent, but he's quite a confident character. Basically - I think it's probably a phase of development, I was convinced there was something wrong with my eldest at the time but it seems they do outgrow it. I hope that may be comforting, I know it's hard though!

[LauraL1985]

@AladdinMum his non verbal communication is really good - points at everything either so that we tell him what it is or if we ask him something in a book/in the room he will point at it or go and get it. I think he knows hundreds of words but just won't say them! He knows his numbers 1-10, all the lower case letters, colors, shapes, foods, animals (at about 8 months he could pick the right animal when asked from a line up of about 50 little people type animals!). He also does things like goes to his chair when I say it's breakfast time, goes to the bottom of the stair gate when I say time to get washed and dressed, goes to the door when I say car or park etc.


Good in a way to know that there are others out there. I'm ok if it's just his personality, he doesn't need to be the life and soul or a party or anything. I'm just sad for him that he seems to be missing out on some really fun things that he could be experiencing and eating a much more varied diet of things I'm sure he would actually like!! Maybe I don't see many others like him when we go out because mums have wised up to not going because it's just miserable for all involved! My heart goes out to those who have similar children though...it's so hard to watch him so upset and out of his comfort zone. Socially too for me it's quite isolating at times.