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Friendship Triangle

(4 Posts)
theclangers Sun 23-Sep-07 11:07:16

Help, advice needed.
My DD age 6 has two close friends, but recently she has been arguing with the other friend, and it seems to be over the third friend.
I don't know who to believe, DD says she is the one being left out, the other friend has been telling her mum that my DD has been saying horrible things to her.
It all seems to be a power struggle over this third friend, it's a classic example of two's company, three's a crowd and it all seems to kick off in the school playground at breaktime.
I've only just found out about it, and I feel really bad sad because the other mum is really worried about about her DD who has been really upset about the situation for months now. My DD has not said anything to me and I'm not sure why (is it because she doesn't perceive it as a problem? Or is it because she is in control?). Suggestions for handling this situation would be most grateful.

bossybritches Sun 23-Sep-07 11:20:37

Horrible situation isn't it TC? i've had the same on & off for a few years with my DD2 & her "gang". There is one little madam who is very sweet,but very manipulative & quite highly strung (like her mum) who seems to be the instigator of any fall-outs.

I had a word with their class teacher(having talked it over with DD) as my DD was having nghtmares & feeling torn in two because she was being forced to choose between friends & she likes them both. They did a little circle time thing talking about how friends come & go but don't always play together all the time. The best thing that was (spontaneously) said was that my DD was ery friendly to everyone & always spotted someone on their own & would play with them! Did her self-esteem no end of good.

Personally I think these playground spats are part of growing up & them learning to deal with shifting relationships-they do come & go at primary school, & it dosen't always warrant our intervention.However flagging it up with the class teacher might be useful so she can keep an eye on things.

Hope it all settles down!

theclangers Sun 23-Sep-07 11:31:15

Good advice bossybritches. I completely agree that this is part of growing up and an important experience which should hopefully help DD to deal with friendship issues in the long term - it is certainly a rite of passage.

bossybritches Sun 23-Sep-07 13:48:53

God little girls can be bitchy to each other can't they?? It's sad I don't remember it being so bad, but then maybe I was like DD & mostly got on with everybody.!! I do rememebr the "best friend" bit though & it changing almost weekly!!

Let me know how you get on!

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