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how many friends has your 7 year old got? what types of friendships?

(3 Posts)
hatwoman Fri 21-Sep-07 15:37:53

dh and I both have this niggling worry about dd - which may in fact be nothing. she has one very good friend who she has known since age 4. she very rarely talks about anyone else - doesn;t want to invite anyone else round - doesn;t get invited round by anyone else. she decides what to do (eg after shool clubs) on the basis of whether or not her friend does them. the exception is new children to the class - for a while they appear in her world but seem to drift away after a while. when dd and her friend get together, I;'m afraid, they are pretty silly and annoying. dh and I can't help wondering if other kids at school also find them annoying. It's impossible for us to know what they're like at school but, obviously, we hope she is well-liked.

so - 2 questions - what are your dd's friendships like? and - to what extent should parents try to influence these things? I'm a pretty strong believer in letting her find her own way and learn for herself how people and the world in general ticks. my primary motivation is her happiness - my secondary one is the happiness of those around her - not some preconceived notion about what's proper/right. but I do worry about the possibility that at some stage in the future I will wake up to realise my dd isn;t happy and contented and there was something i could have done - now - to help.

loopylou6 Fri 21-Sep-07 16:11:37

she may just be one of those children that like 1 close friend rather than lots of not so close ones, i was like that when iw as little, although i do agree it will be hard on her if they fall out coz then she will have no one, maybe u could have a tea party and ask her to invite some girls from school?

rosemadder Fri 21-Sep-07 16:32:19

Do you work full time? If not how would you feel about donating a singe afternoon to her class. Most teachers welcome a parent helper, even if it's just to sort through library books or help with an intensive art activity. It'd give you a subtle chance for a nosey.

My own 7 yr old dd has lots of friendships. She does have a "best" friend but she doesn't rely on her. Can't compare in a helpful way... I do have a 9 yr old dsd though, who hangs off one friend and I'd agree with Loopylou, it's not easy if she's away/falls out/stops going to a club etc.

Also... (and it's a biggy) when this friend does things with other children there's terrible jealousy and then sadness. Much better to encourage a group. Ask her teacher to recommend a couple of possible new playmates. Good luck smile

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