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DS 7 won't play if clothes are wrong(17 Posts)
My DS is 7 years old and he is so specific about his style that he actually chooses it over playing with friends!
We live in a country where the corona lock downs are not super strict at the moment and DS's best friend just rang the doorbell to ask him to come out to ride bikes together. I said fine, but you must wear your wellies because it has been raining and major puddles everywhere.
The problem is that the only pair of wellies he owns are stripy and he HATES stripes! Massive meltdown and tantrum whilst his friend waited patiently. I gave him two options. Either wear those wellies or stay home. He stayed home. And his friend rode off to find other friends to play with..
This is mad, right? It's not the first time we've clashed over stripes. He says they are childish and embarrassing. I'm not going to renew his wardrobe because of his newish dislike of them. Is this normal to be so conserned with style at the age of 7?!!
There are not many 7 year olds that are style conscious, but you get some like that.
Is he getting it from someone in the family?
Maybe you've got a little fashion designer in the making!
I don't think the rest of us that style conscious and definitely don't spend a lot of time putting oitfits together. We had a chat and I explained to him that it's probably not wise to prioritise style over friendships
Is it clothes conscience or just not wearing clothes he hates. My son has a school jacket he hates, so he just won't put it on no matter how cold it is. The same with some sweaters or trousers.
You like / dislike food and like/dislike clothes. He didn't;t pick clothes over a friend. He refused to wear something you were imposing and as a result you deprive him of his outing since you put it as a condition.
No.. Its just stripes he hates. Anything stripy 😩 I do refuse to budge when it comes to dressing appropriately for the whether, and there's no way I'm renewing his wardrobe just to get rid of stripy things before he grows out of yhe naturally..
It's not the first time we've clashed over stripes. He says they are childish and embarrassing.
doesn't he have a point? Don't know where you are but here in Australia, expensive country, you can buy wellies at Target for $10
Yes.. New wellies are not that expensive but surely that's a ever ending road?! What if I buy him new blue wellies and in two weeks time he decides he doesn't like blue..
If stripes are a consistent not liking then just avoid it.
If however it's an excuse for not wearing something he doesn't like, then try to get to the bottom of it. I hated wellies. The reason was there were hung in the garage and we were always told to bang them to make sure there were no spiders in them. Gave me the creeps.
How is he if you allow him to choose his clothes? Mine had a certain amount of choice at that age-I'd probably have taken them to buy wellies if we weren't given them second hand.
I'm just waiting for him to grow out of his stripy things and have definitely been avoiding anything stripey since all of this began.. His wellies are black and grey wide striped so can't see how anyone could perceive them childish. Besides he IS a child!
He gets to choose his clothes daily. The clothes he likes are these really awful and worn hand me downs from his older cousin. He prefers them to the nice (non stripey) new clothes I've bought. I gave up long time ago on this one, but I guess I'm just refusing to cater for his every 'style' whim. He likes to look quite scruffy in general so I'm not sure what the style is that he's going for 😂 I think he's due a new pair of wellies in a few months and then I'll let him choose. Until then it's my way or the highway.
My way or the highway. Great way of parenting.... not.
Adolescence will be fin in your house.
@LeGrandBleu OK.. So what would you do then? Redo wardrobe every time child decides he doesn't like a colour/pattern anymore?
Sounds like you should let him choose all his clothes and avoid buying anything for him. Does he get pocket money? If he wants to change something that still fits him, he can pay for it with his pocket money.
I was commenting on the "my way or the highway" of which you seem so proud of.
Parent-child is a two way relationship. Parent talks and child listens, but parents have to listen to their child too.
He presented you with good reasons. To which I might add mine: you don't wear wellies to go on a bike ride.
You do wear wellies for bike riding when your intention is to ride through puddles 🙄 He gets a lot of say already when it comes to his clothing, but surely the parent has the last word about what is suitable. We talk a lot. He is very articulate. But I'm am the parent and sometimes he just has to do as told. No? He is only 7. If he could he would run the household, but there's 4 of us living here and there are just some things you have to do. Wearing weather appropriate clothing is one of them. I will let him choose next time he needs anew pair but I'm not dashing out of the door on Friday evening to buy him a new pair if wellies because he dislikes the old pair (which he chose himself prior to the dudlike of stripes.. )
No one is suggesting you let him refuse life saving medical treatment but clothing is exactly the kind of area a 7yo can make their own decisions with no parental veto. What does it matter if the choices are inappropriate? He’ll have to live with them and learn. If his sport shoes get drenched jumping in puddles he has to stay in wet shoes for the rest of the walk, then he has to spend time cleaning his shoes and, if they are ruined, he needs to pay for new shoes from his pocket money. Choices and consequences are how everyone learns and clothing choices is a safe domain for a 7yo to learn.
I personally don't think I'd be able to ride a bike in wellies and I've ridden a bike to work almost every day of my adult life. I think it would be a bit dangerous? What's wrong with a bit of mud, he's 7 ffs!
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