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Really struggling with 9 year olds behaviour

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simpson2012 Wed 13-May-20 13:29:29

This has taken me a lot to write but I really am at a point of desperation. My daughter has become so angry/depressed/emotional over the past maybe year or so.

She has always been quite particular about things for example:
Her hair has to be perfect, she brushes it about 30 times a day.
She doesn’t like anyone touching or moving her things.
Her clothing has to be the right way
Her writing has to be perfect
She screamed at me this morning because I put leggings in her drawer and opened her blinds

She also has no confidence:
Always saying she is no good at anything
That we think she is rubbish at everything
That she knows we don’t love her etc

I tell her repeatedly that we do but she just doesn’t want to hear it. She will just continue to repeat herself and then bring up irrelevant things like the fact she thinks I don’t do my washing fast enough in an attempt to put me down all whilst screaming and stomping around.

Then a switch can change as she can be the nicest kid going. I feel like nothing I do so good enough. All her school reports say that she is quiet and pleasant but she’s totally different at home. We have a normal home life and she is blessed with having more than most children her age. She has a younger sister who has no behavioural issues out of the ordinary.

This is just a slight overview, I am in no way a perfect mum but I’ve always tried my best. I have my own emotional issues from my childhood which I’m terrified I’ve projected on to her. Ive always strived to give my children the things I felt I didn’t have. Right now I feel like I’m failing her. I’m not sure whether to speak to the school/doctor or is there anything I can try before it comes to such extreme measures?

Apologies for the long message, any positive feedback/advice welcome!

OP’s posts: |
JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 13-May-20 14:10:26

Please don't put the blame on yourself, even though that can be hard.

It does sound as though she is struggling and it is worth talking to the school and letting them know what's going on at home.

It might also be worth reading up on how ASD presents in girls, ADD and OCD.

Hope you find some answers and support OP smile

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