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my antisocial 3 year old

(5 Posts)
henken Tue 18-Sep-07 17:11:34

hello - am hoping for some advice from any mothers with similar child!!! at home my son is great but likes his own space and can be quiet at times. he is just starting preschool and never really wants to go. i hope this will get better.
he has always been funny about people at the house - when he was 2 and my daughter was born he used to bite me when people came to the house and shut the door on people.
my husband and i are sociable people so i am not sure where he learnt this from. now he is funny with other chidren except for 2 or 3 that he likes. he will hide when we are out or not talk to people.
i am sure he will grow out of it but wonder if it will ever get better or have i just got an really grumpy child!!
any ideas

bigmouthstrikesagain Tue 18-Sep-07 17:21:35

It must be hard for you Hen but it may well be a phase he is going through. I remember one of my nieces basically hid under a blanket for the first 5 yrs of her life but now is a confident cheeky entertaining 8 yo!smile

My sister never spoke to people and was shy as a young child but this changed as she got older and found her place.

I don't have advice as such but wanted to answer you and try to offer some reassurancethat things can and do change.

haychee Tue 18-Sep-07 17:25:22

I dont reaaly know if he will grow out of it or not, or if he is unreasonably grumpy. But, i do find that the more i insist my dc speak to people the worse they get. Or if a friend or family member tries to force them to speak then the more they clam up. So i just apologise on their behalf if they dont want to say hello, and just say she/he is a bit shy today. Rather than saying to the child, say hello to so and so, come on say hello etc.

henken Wed 19-Sep-07 09:39:19

Thanks for your advice - i think my husband and i are just finding it hard. it is so hard work to get him excited about anything except if he is seeing his gran. we just want him to have a bit more spark but maybe we just have to be patient.

HonoriaGlossop Wed 19-Sep-07 10:09:29

I think this kind of thing can often just be part of being 3. That's SO young, and social skills take a long time to develop.

I often think kids are great at showing us what they need and a 3 yr old who is not keen on seeing others or going to pre-school I think is just showing that they are at the natural stage in their development where home and mum are most important; interesting that he loves his gran coming, she's unthreatening because she's a nurturing 'mum like' presence.

As kids mature the social side develops and they find it easier.

I'd say don't pressure him in the least. He's just showing you what he needs for now. My ds is five and still never really wants to go to school, so that might not change I'm afraid!

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