Jealous toddler

[daisy112]

I have recently had a baby (6 weeks ago) and my Daughter, who is nearly 3, is very jealous of her.

She was really excited when we first brought her home but the excitement has quickly faded away.

She is rough with her, tries to hit/bite/throw things at her. She pretends to like her and says how funny she is and how lovely she is, but you can tell in her tone that she definitely doesn't feel that way. She has thrown tantrums about everything since she was born.

As my partner is off work, she is still getting lots of attention from both of us. I play with her alone for a few hours each day so that she has my undivided attention, but it's just never enough. She will ask me to play with her the entire day. She didn't used to do this prior to the baby.

I understand she is hurting, but I really don't know the best way to deal with this. I currently tell her off if she tries to hit her sister but have read online that isn't the best thing to do. Has anyone got any experience of this and what they did to make things better.

I wish I had more time to dedicate to her but in between feeding the baby, trying to eat, drink, change everyone's nappies, get everyone dressed etc there just isn't that much time. Partner will be going back to work in a few weeks and I will have even less time to dedicate to her.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Is your partner WFH? Could he do the nappies and prepare lunch?

Have you got a sling too? I know it’s a MN cliche but I found sticking DC2 in a sling whilst I did things helped a lot.

What does she currently do when you feed the baby, have you tried snuggling her in and reading to her?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Just a bit perplexed too by the advice not to tell her off fir hitting the baby? Can I ask where you read that? If she’s hurting anything, especially a fragile human baby, she needs to know she can’t do that, no matter how she feels.

This article from Dr Sears might help

[daisy112]

@JiltedJohnsJulie partner has been furloughed for the foreseeable and he is brilliant and does soo much. He cooks our lunches, tidies, plays with toddler, helps with baby etc which is why I can currently dedicate a few hours a day to playing with toddler. I'm just worried that she is already struggling with less attention (when she's actually still getting quite a lot of it) that she is going to get even more frustrated when he is back in work and I won't be able to dedicate anywhere near as much time to her.

I also have a sling which she will occasionally go in without crying. She has just started to let me put her down for a bit in the day, so hopefully this will continue to improve!! When I'm feeding atm she will play with her Dad, but good idea about trying to get her to sit and read to her.

The not telling them off thing was somewhere on google. Can't remember the website, but read it in a few places and thought it sounded a bit nuts!! I send her to her room when she does this.

She was so well behaved and loving before, it's come as a bit of a shock but really should have expected it!

Thank you for article, I shall have a read :)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I honestly think she will settle. My DC1 was 3 years and 3 months when we had DC2. He played up for a few weeks but then they begin to realise this is how things are.

I'm sure she'll be fine

[daisy112]

Hopefully the sooner the better!! Haha