School Girl Friends

[looneymum]

My DD1 (age 5) seems to be having a few friend issues. There is a girl who has latched onto her since she started school. Both sets of parents were told at parents evening that the girls were rather "spirited". My DD1 now seems to have grown up a bit and says she isn't keen on this girl but everyone else thinks she is her best friend and they don't want to play with my DD1. She says she asks to play with others but they don't want her to. She also says this other girl is mean to her. I have suggested she tries to get involved with others and every few weeks we have a friend from school back for tea.

Any words of wisdom? Should I just leave well alone and let time sort it out? It breaks my heart to think she doesn't have any friends. I know it is a classic thing for kids to say but this has been going on for a whole reception year and now the start of year one.

[HonoriaGlossop]

I'd put this back where it belongs, at school!

I don't think you can do more than you already are; you're giving her ideas for trying to make friends, and you're supporting that as much as you can by having girls home for tea.

I'd talk to the teacher and let her know this is how your dd is feeling. The teacher/TA/dinner ladies could be best placed to pair your dd off with other girls for tasks and to support other girls to invite her in to their groups during playtimes.

It is hard when people think kids are 'paired off' and stop trying to get them to mix. But the teacher may have no idea at all how your dd is feeling, so I'd tell her and ask for some help with it.

[MaureenMLove]

I agree, have a word with the teacher and make her aware of what dd has said, but ultimately, it will happen. Girls are a nightmare when it comes to friendships, much worse than boys! Try and remain calm and try not to let it get to you too much. Hard, I know, but you'll have issues like this all the way though primary I'm afraid! Our head teacher once said to me, 'if you think yr 2 girls are bad, you should see my yr 5's! Sorry!

[looneymum]

Thanks for your comments. Have just dropped DD2 off at pre school and have done a "mad mummy" thing! I parked up by school to have a spy at DD1 to see if she was sobbing and all alone! In fact, she seemed to be playing quite happily with the girl she reckons is mean to her...! Could it be she is telling me some porkie pies?! Do you think I should tell DD1 I am considering having a word with the teacher or should I do it without telling her. Often if a fib is being told a mention of going in to school to deal with it can knock the whole thing on the head.

[Fimbo]

My dd is 9 and there are still friendship issues going on which have been running since the day she entered reception. I think it is a "girl" thing.