Ok Help... popular dd (5) need advice as am bitter old cynic with no friends and am aghast that I need to host a birthday party... HELP!

[Piffle]

Right
ds (13) made it through school without needing parties as he only ever had one special friend, twas easy to sort out, he never played much with loads of kids - square peg in round hole is how most described him.

Cue dd almost 5 starting school (some minor SN, sensitive vulnerable small, very bad eyesight, falls a lot)

Today I drop her off, chat to another mother and next thing my dd, like the sodding pied piper, has almsot the engire school gaily skipping after her, including older boys
They are all taking care of her and it nearly made me weep. I asked the teacher and she said your dd is just very well liked.

Am in unchartered territory - I am/was a loner, do not make good friends easily.

So dd needs a birthday party of rlots of kids
I ahve booked a pottery painting cafe, for about 20 friends (14 in her class plus a few more outside school)

Is this the right thing, will I need to better it every year.
I'm half joking, half pleased and half really worried - I have no clues about playdates and parties and girly friends
And is it normal for 5 yr old boys to kiss and hug dd? in a nice affectionate way it looked.

I know this sounds really weird but am quite freaked...

[foxinsocks]

sounds lovely (the school)

BUT but but have you got lots of boys coming to pottery paint? because around that age, some of them do tend to run riot a bit

[MamaG]

Aw piffle

Right - party sounds great, no need to panic about coming years, I never went mad with parties just did stuff I knew they would enjoy. MUCH better to do an organised activity (like the pottery cafe) than a home thing if for a lot of kids.

Do party bags - box of raisins/small toy/hair bobbles for girls/bouncy ball etc

Yes - normal for 5 yo old boys . My DD is one of the smallest in the class and was always looked after by other kids, same age and older.

[Piffle]

phew, no only 3 boys, very girl heavy class

[MamaG]

(have a team of adult helpers for party!)

Don't panic about cutting up birthday cake and putting in kitchen roll etc for party bags, buy a square/loaf cake from the supermarekt and chop it up in advance, tehn have a "nice" birthday cake for DD and you can take it home

[Piffle]

great ideas I thank you muchly

[foxinsocks]

you won't need to better it

as they go up through the school, they'll start having a smaller group of friends and then you only need to have a few round and can do something like going to the cinema, bowling whatever (or have 4 or 5 round at home)

also, another thing you can do if you want loads of kids at a party is to share a party with someone else but at dd's age, this will probably be the biggest one you have and they'll get smaller from here onwards

[Cammelia]

It will be great, the children will love it, no you won't have to better it every year, as they get older you can have fewer children though!

[Cammelia]

snap fox

[slayerette]

The pottery painting cafe sounds fun - ds enjoys it when I take him and he's the same age as your dd. Would be nice if parents stay with the kids though since ds still needs some help with his pottery painting! Think about how food/birthday cake/cups of tea for adults will work in this setting.

You won't need to better it every year! As she gets older, she will become more discriminating about friends and you'll probably be hosting smaller parties/trips to cinema/ice-skating/whatever - until she throws a secret 18th birthday party while you're out and invites the entire sixth form, of course

The kiss/hug thing is normal; ds hugs his friends - girls and boys - just being affectionate and loving.

[Hulababy]

Party sounds great. Presumably there will be someone else running it for you? Is food provided or do you need to sort it out? If doing it yourself I find party boxes easiest to deal with on the day, so long as organised day before for getting them ready.

No idea about the boys thing. DD at all girls school. However one of the 5yo boys DD is friends with does hold hands, etc. but the other is a bit more off hands type contact!

Playdates with girls are very easy IME. The disappear and play, needing minimal interaction from adults other than to feed them. However don't make the mistake of having a group of 3!!!

[cupcakes]

Am really pleased that your dd sounds so happy! I think you will need to get into playdates - my dd1 started school last week and I think I will start letting her have one friend every fortnight (!) over to tea (to alternate with ds's friends). I can't cope with more than one playdate a week.
And then they get invited back which can be nice but actually just worries me if I don't already know the family. See - I have to start making friends too.

[Piffle]

Ah thanks this is not quite so daunting now
Am so happy for her as I picked a small school that I hoped would provie her with a good social network as she is very friendly (must skip a generation or come from her father )

the painting cafe do food ish but it's lunchables and frubes
so might have a word and provide boxes for the kids ourselves.
DD wants a flower cake from the M+S cake makers (regret leaving that food book in the magazine rack lol)