OK, I'm sure this has been done before, but any top tips for a 14 month old who is hitting everyone HARD??(6 Posts)
My 14 dd is generally lovely, however over the past month has started hitting. Generally it is either DH or I, but she has done it to others as well. It is generally when playing or talking to her. She will grin at you, lamp you hard in the face....and then lean in for a big kiss.
So far we have started saying NO very firmly and pushing her away, and then not responding when she wants a kiss (quite hard as v cute!)She seems oblivious to this and carries on grinning/playing, and two minutes later it all happens again.
Any other tips? She understands a lot, and her own language is coming on in leaps and bounds, but she is still essentially a baby and I think struggles with cause and effect. I'm guessing the 'naughty spot' is a bit advanced (now dd, you are to stay on the naughty spot for 1 min 20 secs and then say sorry...oh hang on you can hardly speak...!!)
At this age ds would have been whisked to his cot and I would have done something else for a couple of minutes. He is 4 and sleeps fine which disproves what someone will no doubt say which is that cots are no good, bad associations with sleep blah, blah - not my experience at all. It's a safe, boring place and it's away from all the lovely toys.
Do you have a relaxing and soothing time? I sang a "gentle stroking" song (which I made up) whilst putting on cream after ds's bath. Then if I got lamped I would sing the first line of the song as I took him to his cot. I didn't say anything apart from that.
I also used teddy bears and sang the gentle song whilst stroking the bear and gave him his own bear.
But with such a young child - it's a long road.
And a NO to sorry at this age - they are simply too young for apologising to work.
When dd started doing this I realised very quickly that being stern and saying "no" just didn't work. What worked for me was not saying anything, putting her down and walking away into another room. On one occasion I shut the door behind me and held it closed. She broke her heart and I felt like a really mean mummy, but she got the message and stopped doing it.
I'm in the same boat - I have twins who constantly lamp each other! With mine it's often an attention thing - they will hit each other then smile at you waiting for a reaction.
I've been removing the hitter the room (usually into the boring hallway) and lavishing my attention on the other one. The hitting hasn't really improved as a result, but it does diffuse the situation - by the time the hitter has ambled back into the lounge all is forgotten.
Works at home but difficult when out and they start a big slap-fest in the buggy <sigh>.
Thanks everyone. Sounds like I will have to make more of a point of putting her somewhere different and boring and removing myself completely from the picture for a short time. I know its early days and I'm not too worried, however she is a real extrovert with erm... 'bullish' tendencies so just want to make sure we get her on the right bath. Most recent exploit is stealing the dummies from immobile babies in the baby room at nursery and throwing them out of their reach... She doesn't even use one herself, so I guess she is just enjoying their outraged reactions...
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