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Coercive behaviour between 6 year old girls(2 Posts)
Hello, I've never posted on mumsnet before. I hope someone can help. We have recently moved to a new city and my 6 year old daughter has started (in Yr 2) at a new school. It seems like a lovely school and her class seem like a great bunch of children. She was very sad to leave her friends at her old school so I was thrilled when she was invited to a party and had a few play-dates in the first few weeks of being there. However, she now seems to spend all of her time with one girl who will not let her play with anyone else. The girl is quite hard on her and says things like 'I'm just trying to protect you.' If my daughter asks if someone else can join their game the little girl says 'no.' If my daughter protests the girl just threatens to cry. My daughter likes this girl and doesn't want to upset her. I keep telling my daughter that she can't spend all her time trying to please this girl at the expense of the feelings of the other girls and her own feelings too. I know it's not bullying but it feels increasingly like coercive behaviour. I feel that relationships like this can be very harmful in adult life and don't think this is good for either girls. I am at a loss as to what to do about it. I don't see that there is anything that the teacher can do about it. I don't see how the girls mum can do anything either - her daughter is exceptionally headstrong and her previous 'BFF' left the school last year. I feel angry and sad that this has happened. My daughter is a kind and happy go lucky girl. I want her to be more assertive with this girl but it feels like we are fighting a losing battle. Does anyone have similar experience?
I would talk to the school and ask if they can help redirect your daughter to other kids. Book playdates with other kids. Be busy when this girl's mum calls to arrange things, and then do something else fun with your daughter.
She's 6, you're still very much in control of her social life.
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