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Discipline for 2.7 year old(5 Posts)
DD will be 3 in May. She has been generally quite easy and cooperative so far (as toddlers go) but recently has become stroppier, both at home and at nursery. She has always had triggers like brushing teeth, brushing hair, putting on eczema cream etc, but as they are not negotiable we just gently insist and although she doesn't like it she gets over it swiftly. But she's become somewhat naughtier at nursery e.g refusing to put away toys when asked and ignoring the staff, when previously she had been pretty good.
I am quite keen to nip this in the bud so feel I need a better approach to discipline/encouraging good behaviour than previously. I've never done anything like time out etc with her because it's not seemed necessary before. I mostly explain/model good behaviour and give immediate consequences where possible (e.g. she threw water on the floor while watching Peppa, so I turned it off and explained why).
But I don't have a very good sense of what method is age appropriate and effective. Would anyone be able to advise? If it helps, her language and understanding is very good.
You have my sympathy as she sounds exactly like my DD was
I found the No Cry Discipline Solution has sone useful tips.
I found the Aha parenting website good. (Though what I’m about to say directly contradicts their advice )
When DD was that age, I began to introduce natural consequences, with an explanation. I’m wondering if your consequence flows from the thing she’s done (ie what’s the connection with the water and Peppa?). So I might have said something like, ‘oh dear, Mummy won’t have as much time to play x, cos I’ve had to clean up all that water’.
I also began getting her to help clear up any deliberate messes (not in a mean way, more in a ‘here’s a piece of kitchen roll so you can join in too’ kind of way!).
And choose your battles...
DD is 3.5 now and a whole lot better including on some really tricky things she used to do like hitting and biting. I’d like to think it was my excellent parenting but I think they just grow out of a lot of this stuff!
Also, I remember DD going through really challenging phases like this and reading something on the Aha website about them testing you to see if you’re the confident leader they need. So there’s something about just holding firm and waiting for it to pas that I found very helpful.
Unless you think there’s something else going on with her?
Thanks for the responses, really helpful.
I'm sure I exacerbate her recalcitrance because I'm often tired and stressed from work, so sometimes snap at her when she's being difficult and then feel guilty and overcompensate (e.g. she decided to stage a sit-down protest in the middle of Upper Street today because I refused to carry her. Sadly my exasperated 'oh for the love of god please just walk properly' didn't produce a positive result). So I need to work on being more consistent and a bit more patient. I don't scream or swear or anything like that, but I do make it clear that I'm fed up, and that always triggers a negative response. And because she's so talkative I think I fall into the trap of assuming more maturity than she has.
Anyway, I will read the Aha Patenting website in particular and have a go. I quite like their line about kids needing love mist wheb they deserve it least - a bit harsh but a good way to vent internally. Anyway, have to go as she's annoyed because she ate some of her breadstick and now it isn't big anymore.
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