Bad time at childminders. Worried sick now

(3 Posts)
Jannt86 Mon 13-Jan-20 13:41:37

So I have to return to work PT in a few weeks and am slowly easing my 21MO into going to a childminder's after being on adoption leave for a year. We went there for a couple of hours together and then before Christmas I left her there for a morning. The first time she seemed to cope well. Cried a bit as I left but I was being messaged pictures of her enjoying story time before I'd even got to the end of the road. However this time was totally different. She howled the minute she realised where she was. I left promptly but gave her a big kiss, told her I loved her and would be back later. However she apparently cried for about half an hour after which she played quite alone and the staff said she's very independent and good at self soothing sad I know I pretty much HAVE to return to work but it just makes me so sad that she's found today so hard. I've tried to make up for it with lots of kisses and cuddles and an extra cuddly nap time where I sung her to sleep in bed and offered cuddles to sleep. I also asked her if she enjoyed it at the childminder's and she said yes. I've talked to her about how she was very sad when mummy left but doesn't need to be as mummy will always come back. I just can't think of much more I can do with her to make this less painful and it has to be done. If she was a bit older I'd maybe give her a little bracelet or draw on her hand or something but I think this would just wash right over her at this age. Is this unusual for a kid to be unconsolable for so long after being left? If anyone else's kid was like this did it get better and what helped? I'm trying hard to ease her into it but I guess it was always going to be quite difficult when she's barely left my side for a whole year sad thanks x

OP’s posts: |
crazychemist Tue 14-Jan-20 17:51:05

I’d strongly recommend reading stories about going to nursery etc. ONS that I found good for DD:
Lulu goes to nursery
I love you all day long
The kissing hand
There are lots of others. I assume she is scared that yoU won’t come back. If she is adopted, perhaps she might be more nervous about this transition than most? If she understands the process well enough it’ll be less scary for her. It’s good that you’ve offered extra support and cuddles to her and that you’re talking her through this.

FWIW, my DD really struggled for the first couple of weeks at nursery. But she’s 3 now and runs straight into preschool without a backwards glance. Once she understood how it worked and got used to thE routine she was completely fine.

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 14-Jan-20 18:54:17

It does all sound completely normal and that you've dealt with it very well as the pp says.

Have you tried posting in the adoption section? The MNers in there may have some more tips smile

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