Impact of leaving a 10 month old at a gym creche once or twice a week for an hour?

[Tapster]

I still haven't left my DD at the gym creche for an hour. The only person she has been left is with my DH. She doesn't see any other family that regularly so I can't really leave her with what to her is strangers.

I know lots of people leave their babies in the creche and if I hear one more time from my MIL how it would be "good for her" to be left with stangers I'll scream. My instincts are not to leave her - not because I am worried that something will happen to her but she will feel abandoned and get stressed.

I've given up my career to be a SAHM and plan to have her start Montessori at 2.5years for 2/3 mornings a week.

Am I being overcautious?

[Jazzicatz]

Yes tbh it sounds as if you are.

[nailpolish]

no you are not being over cautious
she is your daughter, do what you feel is best!

how old is she?

maybe, if you would like to leave her at the gym creche for a while, bu tyou are unsure, you could speak to the staff and go along for 20mins or so, but stay with her. then leave her another time for 20mins while you go and have a coffee in the gym cafe

do it in stages

[ruddynorah]

what nailpolish said. maybe go in with her first to play together. then leave her for half an hour and so on. it may a shock to her at first if she's never been left with a stranger before. an hour really isn't a very long time, and you will be right there on the premises if there was any problem.


i would also ask the nursery if it's the same staff all the time or on the days you require, to make sure there is some consistency for your baby.

[Guadalupe]

Your instincts are not to leave her, and you don't have to, it's a no-brainer really.

Get an exercise video

[lucyellensmum]

i dont think you are being over cautious, but i also don't see the harm, I wish my local gym had a creche but mine is a bus journey away. Do check it out though as a friend of mine had a bad experience, she left her DS and on her return he was distraught and she said it was obvious that the young girl in charge of him couldnt cope. I can't imagine it would be like that in very many places though. I agree with the person who says to go and see what you think of the place, it HAS to be good for mum to have some time off. As i said about the creche in the gym in the first place. .

I find the whole montessori thing a bit strange i have to admit, but i guess that is a bit off subject. I have heard that although the children who go to these schools do quite well academically in the first instance, their social skills can be lacking and the academic advantage evens out over time. But hey, that was my one comment from an ex montessori nursery owner who managed to put me off nursery full stop (she was very VERY strange - ageing hippy type who made me feel guilty for even considering going to work - DD is 2). But then again, i'll never know because there are no such schools in our area, which again surprises me because we have alpha/pushy mummies a go go around here.

[Lazycow]

Gym creches are provided so that Parents can use the facilities and have their babies and children taken care of while they do this.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with using a creche for this and the baby will be fine, I did this myslef when living in the US nd I desperately wanted to get some exercise and the only way I could was to use the gym creche for an hour or so. However if you want to use the gym and have another option for childcare that you are happier with (your dh for example) then use that. At 10 months old your dd will gain nothing from being in a creche. She won't come to any harm but she won't get anything positive out of it either.

If you don't want to leave her with strangers and you have the option not to then don't. Your MIL is talking rubbish actually. Do you ever leave her with your MIL? Maybe this a way of your MIL saying she'd like to look after your dd.

I can't think of a single reason why it is good for a baby to be 'left with strangers'.

[daisyandbabybootoo]

if she is left with other people now, she will be less likely to have separation anxiety when she start at montessori in a year and a halfs time. From what i recall of my own DS, he had a few separation anxieties around the 10-12 month stage and used to scream when i left him with anyone other than my sister or parents. He got over it though and when i went back to work when he was 2 he fitted into his f/t nursery without so much as a backeard glance in my direction.

Try doing as nailpolish suggested, if it doesn't work out, you can at least say you tried!

[nailpolish]

the creche at my gym is an Asquith one, its excellent and some children go there full time (its more a nursery with very well qualified teachers)

[lucyellensmum]

sorry, my post sounds bitchy, it wasnt meant that way. Just that the woman who told me about the montessori was major league weird. I dont actually think there is anything wrong with being a pushy mum either, although alpha mummies do my head in.

[nailpolish]

daisy i dont agree
my dds were only with me, dh or my mum til they were 2.5yrs old, and had no probs trottng into nursery and settled in well

but all children are different i suppose

all im saying is taking your baby to a creche for an hr or so once in while wont help them settle any better into structured nursery/school

[Lazycow]

I'm not sure I agree that a baby will be less likely to have seperation anxiety if they are left with more people at that age. I am willing to be convinced otherwise butI always thought separation anxiety was a stage that they go through and eventually grow out of and that some babies get it worse than others but I'm not sure it is significantly affected by the number of people the baby is left with.

[Guadalupe]

No, do it if you want to go to the gym and need to leave him there for an hour so you can, but don't do it when you don't want to because you're being told by your mil that it will be good for him. It won't. He will probably be fine but it's hardly essential for him to get used to being left in years to come.

[MrsSpoon]

I left my DS1 regularly in the gym creche from around 15 months and he was absolutely fine (this was after never having been left with anyone other than family). I left DS2 regularly in the gym creche from 7 weeks and again he was fine but did go through a slight separation anxiety at around 10 months and then again at around 15 months (when he returned after having chicken pox).

It's worth checking our the individual policy of the gym and creche. The nursery nurses at the creche I left DS1 and DS2 at would come and get you from your gym session/fitness class if your child was inconsolable, which meant even if either DS1 or DS2 was crying when I left them I was happy that they had settled down they would have come and told me.

It's one of those things you just have to try, I never felt it did either of my two any harm and they both have really nice memories of their play sessions in the creche.

[MrsSpoon]

Just picking up on Guadalupe's post, I missed the point that it was your MIL who wants you to leave your DD in the creche and totally agree with Guadalupe that if you want to go to the gym and are happy to leave her in the creche then give it a try, if you are just doing it to please your MIL then don't.

[Nip]

I took my DS to the gym creche at about 4 months and he was fine - the staff were brilliant. But if you have an ounce of doubt - then dont do it.

[Mellin]

Do you want to go to the gym? I won't bother taking your baby to the creche if it was only for the sake of her to be around "strangers". Going to a playgroup together or other such activities might be better. Your daughter gets to interact with others but you are also there in case she gets stressed.

It probably depends on the child, but my daughter (10 months) loves going to creche at the gym. I only leave her for an hour and she has always seems to enjoy it.

I would guess that if you are concerned enough to post this on MN, they you probably aren't comfortable with leaving her. So don't.

[daisyandbabybootoo]

oh i'm only going on my experiences...limited though they are. my friends ds didn't get left with anyone until she went back to work when he was three and he had a very hard time settling, but mine who regularly stayed with my parents, and my sister as well as the creche at a local family centre for an hour twice a week, settled fine.

Like you say, it depends on the child. ds is quite an outgoing child.

LOL sounds i abandoned him left right and centre!

[Tapster]

MIL thinks its to do with reducing separation anxiety. DD at 10months is getting clingy when first with strangers but is a socialable smiley little girl. I think I may leave it until she is 15months when separation anxiety reduces and also when we have been to some toddler groups.

MIL has two daughters who are happy to leave their babies when they are weeks old overnight with her . MIL only visits every couple of weeks and DD hasn't a clue who she is yet so for her she is still a stranger - even MIL has realised so is a bit upset!

[nailpolish]

daisy

[mm22bys]

I didn't leave DS1 with non-family till he was close to a year, but started leaving DS2 when he was only a couple of weeks old (Mum was here and we wanted to go out to dinner so we did!). He didn't miss me till he got hungry (I was still bf then).

I think especially first-time mums are alot more concerned than we need to be about leaving our DCs - I really do not see the harm in leaving your DD for an hour or so - it might do YOU good, and it won't "harm" your DD.

[Lazycow]

Tapster

I'd say that your MIL is aching to look after your dd and so is making those comments as a round about way of asking to look after her

You don't have to leave her with anyone you don't want to (MIL included) but it might help you to know that there is probably a hidden agenda in your MIL's suggestion. i.e ' If she gets used to stragers then may she will be Ok with me' type of thinking

Your dd will get over her separation anxiety in due time and you can leave her when you feel comfortable.

FWIW though if your MIL visits every few weeks she won't be a stranger to your dd for long so as long as you are happy with it why not try leaving your dd with your MIL maybe just for an hour at first while you go and get a cup of coffee or have a lie down?

Or maybe you could explain to your MIL that you don't want to be separated from your baby at the moment but as soon as you feel more comfortable about it you feel ready you will ask your MIL to babysit (assuming you trust your MIL to look after your dd that is)

[pointydog]

I think you're very overcautious, yes, but it's your baby so if you don't mind no one else ever looking after her then it doesn't matter, does it?

[pointydog]

and as mellin said, do you want to go to the gym or not?

[HenriettaHippo]

I leave my 11 month old at the creche for an hour every Tuesday. It's always the same staff, so he knows them now. Have done with his older DS as well since about the same age.

DS2 hated it when he was 6 months, so I abandoned it for a while and tried again 3 months later. Now he's fine.

I think it certainly does no harm if you trust the staff. They should do a short session the first time, and should ALWAYS come to get you if DD is distressed and can't be comforted. You'll probably be pleasantly surprised by how happy she is. And it will be good for YOU to get the time and to take the exercise.

Sounds like MIL is itching to look after DD? could she have her for a couple of hours a week so you can go to the gym?

[Tapster]

Pointy dog I plan not to let my daughter out of my sight until she is at least 16, and plan to BF her until then too.

Thanks for those comments which were positive.