Help - I thought I gave a perfectly reasonable answer to 'how does the baby get in your tummy mummy?'

[HuwEdwards]

to DD4 (with DD1 6, who never ever, asked that question listening very carefully).

'The mum and dad' have a special cuddle' I said.

Now, whilst I'm happy to be a bit more explicit with DD1, what is a reasonable answer to a 4yo's more probing questions?

Such as today.
DD1 'what happens with the special cuddle' 'a seed gets passed from the dad to the mum'

'how?'

me - 'I'll have to get you a book to help explain'

Help!

[hermykne]

i need the book too, will watch this thread for it

[newlifenewname]

the seeds live in the man's willy and the willy goes in the ladies front bottom. My kids can recount this happily and are not preturbed at ages 3,6 and 7.

[newlifenewname]

lady's

[legalalien]

Here's the book you need

www.amazon.co.uk/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0230015492?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 (at least, that's how it was explained to me, aged four).

Might not have been such a good idea to show it to all my four and five year old friends, though - not sure that their parents were equally enlightened about the benefits of early sex education.

[Pannacotta]

But isnt "front bottom" an odd choice of words and likely to confuse since bottoms are for pooing! Am not a fan of that euphemism but I have to admit I dont know what I would say - DS1 is only 2.5 so no such questions yet....

[newlifenewname]

Mummy Laid an Egg is fun too.

Hijack:LA have you read Mapping The Mind by Rita Carter?

[doggiesayswoof]

Not been in this situation yet (dd is 3) but I would agree with NLNN. Tell it like it is but with a minimum of detail.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Can't you just say the lady has a little hole where it goes in?

[newlifenewname]

Front bottom is where the girl's baby sized willy lives, secretly inside unlike the boy's sticking out willy.

All seems to make sense to them.

[nailpolish]

front bottom

urgh

vagina, if you please, expecially when talking in this respect

(I say "flower" to dd's when for example bathing "wash your flower" but i would say "vagina" when discussing anatomy and physiology )

[newlifenewname]

Beware though - they do practise this sometimes at bath time though.

[newlifenewname]

We say Fanny front bottom and billy back bottom

[legalalien]

[nlnn - no, is it any good?]

[MaryAnnSingleton]

we say girl's willy

[doggiesayswoof]

Well, I wouldn't say front bottom myself, but whatever your terminology of choice I still think a basic factual explanation is the way to go

[nailpolish]

girls willy for waht? vagina? or clitoris?
thats very confusing

[doggiesayswoof]

'girl's willy' is very anti-feminist imo

You wouldn't say 'boy's clitoris'

[newlifenewname]

[newlifenewname]

Ah, but you see - these terms came from their descriptions and their understanding. And a clitoris although still a clitoris is a form of penis - we just give it a different name because it differs a little. We also refer to nipples as nipples in both men and women although their purpose is entirely different between sexes.

They aren't confused because it is their vocab.

[nailpolish]

why cant you jsut say willy, vagina and clitoris? ok it should be penis but to me that is offensive

[MaryAnnSingleton]

girls willy is general term for vagina/clitoris - this is what he understands at the moment - will be more detailed as and when he needs to know...

[doggiesayswoof]

Yes, I see the logic NLNN.
I'm afraid 'girl's willy' makes me cringe but then I am projecting my own right-on feelings which are totally irrelevant from a wee one's perspective. As you say it is a physiologically correct description!

[newlifenewname]

Shall I go ask them? I'll report back later.We can discuss at bath time. I personally prefer to leave the ultra correct terminology until they reach an age when they won't sound odd uttering vagina and penis. They get smiles when they talk about sex stuff in public using their infant language, I doubt they'd receive the same if they talked openly but using grown up words like penis and vagina.

"Mummy, what's that you are sticking up your vagina?"
"Just a tampon dd"

I find the above discourse freaky whereas front bottom sounds okay to me.

V. personal choice of course.

[MaryAnnSingleton]

yup,agree with newlifenewname - I say boys willy too,so it's girls willy and boys willy -therefore the terms are equally between the two sexes.
I have to say that the correct anatomical names make me feel a bit eeww anyway...I once had to illustrate a book for girls about periods and drew all the parts with labels which was quite a feat for me !

[EmsMum]

My DD loved "Mummy laid an Egg" and "Where Willy went" when she was about that age.

Heard the story about the little girl who came in from playing and asked "Mummy, where did I come from?". Unprepared and flustered mum starts in on explanation. Little girl listens politely and then says, "Yes mum, but where did I come from? Susie says she came from Colchester...."