3 year old has gone nuts- New baby

[Dalooah]

Hello all!

My three year olds behaviour has been unmanageable in the last few weeks- new baby is 5 weeks old and is EBF. Toddler doesn't listen to any instructions, and becomes insanely needy the minute the baby needs to be fed.

Can anyone give me any coping strategies, what can I do to manage toddlers behaviour- what techniques can I use?

Am at my wits end, and becoming really frustrated and sick and tired of telling toddler off. Please help! Feeling lost

[crazychemist]

No proper advice I’m afraid, I’ve only got the one DD at the moment, but didn’t want to leave you with no replies.

I bet it’s incredibly hard, but if you can tone down telling the toddler off it will lower your own stress. Can feeding the baby be a time for e,g, reading to toddler? Something so he feels close to you too? I imagine he’s feeling pretty desperate for attention, it’s a huge change for him.

Sorry you’re finding it so tough.

[Essybird]

Try reading / listening Sarah ockwell smiths second baby book. Loads of ideas there. Your first born just misses you.. I am in the same position myself and at times it’s heartbreaking!

[ProseccoLimoncello]

Have you thought of a feeding box’ a box of toys/ activities which only come out when baby is feeding, so they retain some excitement, maybe jigsaws/ things you can assist with just using your voice? My DS1 was 20 months when DS2 came (now 4 months old) and I can definitely say it got much easier after DS2 was 8-10 weeks as feeding was a little less frequent & DS1 had begun to adjust. There are still difficult times but hang in there, it does get easier

[doritosdip]

It's very common for older siblings to regress when siblings are born. Think I read that it can be up to half their actual age.

Good news is that it only lasted a few months. Older sibling realised that baby was here to stay and they could get my attention in more positive ways like using their words rather than whining. It's a major shock to dc1 that they have to compete for your attention and by pretending to be like the baby they are hoping that you will treat them like the baby with hugs and attention too.

Do you have a sling that you can breastfeed in so you at least have your hands free to do stuff with dc1 while dc2 feeds and dozes?