4 year old keeps screaming and won’t listen

[UpTheWoodenHill123]

Long post sorry in advance...

Everyday I wake up to 4 yr old son terrorising the 5 month old puppy (hitting, pulling tails, taunting etc.) and then screaming when she responds in any which way (she is as gentle as anything but might grab his sock or sleeve of his top).

I can’t keep them entirely separate, but feel it could be dangerous for son later on when pup is a lot bigger and stronger. I try to teach him gentleness and give him simple instructions to follow but he won’t listen to me - at all (whether about the dog or just simply putting down her dog bed/a bauble/the water jug/the soap/literally anything).

Son has no fear of danger or consequence so won’t stop doing what he is doing regardless. His answer is always “well I want to do that”. The concept of mom having charge just hasn’t sunk in with him and he thinks he can do whatever he wants when he wants even though I tell him otherwise. I’m at the end of my tether - not just because of the screaming or the dog but generally not having a son that will participate in family things or do as he’s told.

Parenting techniques welcomed! Read below what we have tried already;-

We have tried taking toys away and he has ended up passing us his toys saying stuff like take woody then. He feels having no toys is of no consequence.

We have tried 1-2-3 magic and time out means nothing to him.

We have tried giving it no attention, it just gets louder and louder.

We have tried treating good behaviour with a dried apricot/choco button every time he does what we ask, but that lasted two days before he got bored.

I have now taken to shouting his name until I’m blue in the face and he finally turns around and says “what?” with a big smile on his face as though nothing has happened. This is the only response I can get out of him which is better than none at all.

Is he deaf or is he just 4???