Sleep routine for my 12-week-old + I never get anything done!

[Lookydo]

Hi there

It's my first post on here so huge apologies if I'm asking some really obvious questions which have been all over the site a million times before. I had a quick search through previous threads but no joy. So as my computer time is v limited due to demanding but v gorgeous baby, thought I'd just get on and ask my questions...

So, first of all I need some help on a sleep routine for my 12-week-old. Up til now we've been going with the flow, although following advice such as keeping bedtime quiet, boring etc to encourage him to sleep more at night. We don't have a strict 'routine' as such, but what happens at the moment is that I put him down between 10 and 11pm and he'll wake up for a feed between 3am and 4am and then he'll be up for the day soon after 7am. Prior to being put down, he'll feed (breast fed) on and off from 7 or 8pm and then snooze on our laps - often in front of the TV which I know is a really bad habit! I'm feeling v guilty about that one and know I've got to start with a proper bedtime routine. Obviously I'm aiming for the dream scenario of him sleeping from 7pm through to 7am. Should I start putting him down earlier, or should I wait until he's regularly sleeping through from 11pm to 7am? A few nights ago he slept from 10pm til 7am so he is capable of it but it was just the once. And last night he was asleep from 9.30pm but then he woke at 1.30 and then at 5.30 which was a real killer. I feel terrible today. The broken nights are really starting to take their toll and I keep changing my mind as to what strategy I should adopt. Please help me!

The other issue I'm battling with is the fact that I feel like I never get anything done in the day. You know, housework, phone calls, emails etc. I feel like the only time I have is when he's asleep, and he generally only has two short naps in the daytime now. He'll lie under his baby gym for 10 minutes at a time, but I really need to have him occupied on his own for longer periods so that I can get stuff done. (We're only keeping the dirt/chaos at bay because my husband is a domestic god and does loads when he gets in from work. Another thing to feel guilty about!)

Any tips/advice hugely appreciated. Thanks loads in advance.

Lx

[madness]

no help, just envious, not had an uninterupted sleep for the last 6 y (well, ds is nearly 7).my dh defin not domestic god!!!Emails, phone calls, on MN all with dd on my lap...

[berolina]

He's really very very young for a routine, you know. It sounds like you're managing (and IMO and E the first few months are all about managing rather than ideals) fine, tbh. One night waking is fab at 12 weeks - we reached that heady milestone at more like a year

With my ds an earlier bedtime inveriably meant an earlier morning, and still does today (he's 2.3). Hence his bedtime is at 9, give or take half an hour, and he tends to wake sometime between 7 and 8.30 am. He just doesn't seem to need that much sleep (oh, and the daytime nap is history since around his 2nd birthday - definitely his choice, not mine!) Sounds a little like your ds might be in the same vein, although less 'extreme'.

I would seriously recommend going with the flow for now. A 'routine', in our case, gradually developed. I bf ds to sleep for much, much longer than most would be prepared to, I think, but shortly before he turned 2 he began having a quick feed and then asking to go to bed, after which I would put him to bed awake and he would drop off All happened entirely naturally and painlessly. And I have always worked OTH - until April I was FT. I really think it gave us overall a great deal less stress to be led by ds, within reason, and take the path of least resistance

The getting-things-done/housework issue can be helped immensely by 3 things. 1) a sling - a good one with proper support (i.e. not a Baby Björn type). There are lots of tasks you can get on with wearing one of these. 2) The practice of one-handed typing while bf (emails/work). 3) Lowering domestic standards (Oh, and 4) husband/partner pulling his weight - but sounds like that's no problem. Don't feel guilty - it's his ds too!)

[Lookydo]

Madness - Yes, I mustn't forget how lucky I am having a bloke who actually does stuff around the house. Get yours to pull his finger out!

Berolina - Thanks for the 'going with the flow' advice. Think I'd just got it into my head that we should have a routine now that we've hit the magic 12 week mark. The sling idea sounds good - what sort/make would you recommend?

If anyone else out there has got any tips/experiences they'd like to share about what they were doing re. sleep/routine at the 12-week stage I'd absolutely love to hear from you.

Toodle pip for now.

Lx

[HonoriaGlossop]

At twelve weeks my ds was very happy in his little routine, which was based on the timings in Gina Ford's contented baby book. He was like your baby, waking once in the night for a feed at this age.

OK, so what I did was

DS up between 6 and 7am, feed, change, play etc then his first nap of the day (in his cot in his room) at 9am till about 9.45am/10am.

Then up, play, feed, etc with his next nap (in his cot in his room) at mid-day, until about 2.30pm.

He would then go through awake till about 5pm and he'd have a little kickabout on his changing mat before a wash or bath, then his last feed of the day at about 6pm and asleep by 7pm-ish.

I always fed him just before I was going to bed at about 11pm, he didn't always wake for this feed but I'd pick him up and give it, it got him through till 3am ish when he woke for his feed.

So that's about it really. None of this was a struggle, ds slotted in to it like a dream; so i'm not suggesting you struggle if your baby won't ever have a nap at 9am or whatever; what it did for me was give me the CONFIDENCE to take a fully awake baby up for a nap at 9am, and he took it quite happily!

So it was a very simple routine really but it seemed to ensure that ds never got overtired really.

It also meant that I got almost three baby free hours a day to get stuff done in the house.

[Starbear]

Should be getting dressed now instead of posting someone else about routine. A day off, DS in nursery,DH at work should be pulling my finger out and getting the wash done. Ds is nearly 3 life gets better and easier I recommend Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg with Melinda Blau. Routine has really worked for us as I knew the time slots I had to get things done. But give yourself a break. On DH day off express some milk pack nappies etc.. Tell him to go to the park then a cafe with a paper. At 12 weeks they don't need to really play and they love watching the world go by. Get a playmat with dangly things and just turn him/her over now and again.

[Lookydo]

Sorry for slow response - been away for a few days. Thanks for your tips. That's a great help.

Must dash - his nibs his yelling!

Ta ta for now

Lx