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Does a 1 year old need to go to nursery?

(36 Posts)
kerala Fri 24-Aug-07 17:02:18

The majority of my mum friends are putting their 1 year olds into nurseries for up to 4 days a week. They are all talking about active play, yoga for babies, interaction.

I am lookng after dd at home. We go to lots of groups and playgroups and spend time with other mums and children. But is she missing out by not being left in a nursery? She is at the separation anxiety stage and gets upset when I leave the room, I cant imagine how she would be if I left her.

Not looking to open the whole to work outside the home or not debate, just wondered what others thought.

dustystar Fri 24-Aug-07 17:05:07

Thers no need for her to do all those things. If you are going out and meeting other people then she's getting lots of experiences to help her develop. Do what you are happiest with and don't worry about the others.

beansprout Fri 24-Aug-07 17:05:58

She doesn't need all that at her age, but if you wanted to have a break sometimes, that would be fine too. Do what works for you both - you know best!

EscapeFrom Fri 24-Aug-07 17:06:02

It won't harm. But she doesn't need to either. Those mums are doing it for themselves, not their babies. Nothing wrong at all with that, and given that option i probably would too, but dobn't let them lie and justify their choice by saying their babaies 'needed' to go. They didn't.

BridgetJonesKnickers Fri 24-Aug-07 17:06:25

Relish the fact that you are able to be at home with her and take her to these places yourself. I would have loved to have been in your position as felt guilty for leaving them at nursery (had to work p/t).
Ignore wht others are doing and do what makes you and your dd happy.

EscapeFrom Fri 24-Aug-07 17:07:03

Baby yoga, btw, means rolling around on the floor


Can't think of where else A baby would ever do that!

juuule Fri 24-Aug-07 17:09:25

There is no need for her to go to nursery at one year old. Some interesting articles here about why it might even be better for them to be at home in the early years.

Isababel Fri 24-Aug-07 17:10:30

Personal choice. End of.

aloha Fri 24-Aug-07 17:10:33

However, my dd who is 2.6 does 'need' to go to nursery, I think. She wants chums and to make a big mess with paint.

aloha Fri 24-Aug-07 17:11:13

she's starting pre-school for two-three mornings a week in sept. I think we are BOTH looking forward to it!

LIZS Fri 24-Aug-07 17:11:37

No imho it is more for the benefit of the mums , unless they are working, than the children. Similar sort of interaction and activities can be had with mum. Mums sometimes need a break though, if only to visit the dentist or do food shopping, and if there are no family or friends around not assist, a creche or nursery for a limited period may provide some respite. From about 2 to 2 1/2 they get far more out of being more independent and in the company of peers and are usually able to articulate their wants and needs. But it will vary from one child/mother to another.

kerala Fri 24-Aug-07 17:11:44

Thanks for your posts.

Am happy with what we are doing but when you suddenly realise you are very much in the minority in your peer group you start to wonder...

DD is at her happiest when its just us playing at home despite all my efforts to drag her around the baby circuit.

pistachio Fri 24-Aug-07 17:13:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobsmum Fri 24-Aug-07 17:15:56

Kerala - I know what you mean. I was very much bullied by my HV to get ds into nursery from a young age. I didn't because he wasn't ready and so he went for his pre school year at 4.

With dd though, she's confident and would love it, but she's 2 now and can tell me exactly what she wants.

I wouldn't have contemplated sending either of them for "socialising" as a baby.

But as others have said if you don't have friends or family to take them for an hour or so while you have a haircut or go to the GP, then maybe a nursery is the only option.

We couldn't afford the childcare anyway - hence I"m at home. Plus I love it smile

whompingwillowinthedewmeadow Fri 24-Aug-07 17:18:23

Wise up! is my gut reaction.

Isababel Fri 24-Aug-07 17:19:34

"But as others have said if you don't have friends or family to take them for an hour or so while you have a haircut or go to the GP, then maybe a nursery is the only option." I think that is a very fair point.

Caroline1852 Fri 24-Aug-07 17:35:47

Personally, I would not dream of sending a one year old to nursery. My DD is now 22 months old and she does not go to nursery. She would hate it.... (I might love it though grin).

Tapster Fri 24-Aug-07 18:06:49

My DD nearly 9.5months old - won't send her to nursery until she is 2/2.5 depends when she is ready for 2/3 mornings a week. Seems that most of the academic evidence shows its best for babies to spend their days one-to-one care. If you can afford to do it both in terms of your own sanity as well as financially then go for it. The other mothers are justifying their decisions - its for the mothers benefit at that age not the childs.

cylon Fri 24-Aug-07 18:07:39

no. she does not need to go to nursery.

Wordsmith Fri 24-Aug-07 18:11:39

Are they putting them into nursery for up to 4 days a week because they need childcare to work? If so, what else are they supposed to do?

bobsmum Fri 24-Aug-07 18:16:21

Wordsmith I got the impression they were SAHMs.

It's fairly common round here. Although it's been from much younger than 1 with some. A lot of the mums do it for their trips to the beautician/gym/time at home to themselves. Not something I could do, but so many do it nowadays I've always figured I was in the minority.

Isababel Fri 24-Aug-07 18:25:44

Ooooohhhh. My nosey neighbour complained about me doing that. Problem was that being only looking from her window she couldn't see that Ds was at the nursery because I was completing the research part of my degree, she couldn't see I was working in my dissertation every day past midnight, she couldn't see I didn't have anyone in the whole city that I knew well enough to leave DS to pay a trip to library (in the city centre (by the shops)), to go to classes, to simply be able to concentrate in a chapter, or to try to catch up with some rest or relax a bit between the stress of the degree made worse by PND. From her rather limited perspective I was sending DS to the nursery to enjoy myself.

If you don't have the full facts, don't judge, actually, even if you do, don't judge either as it is difficult to get the full picture unless you are going through the same.

bumbling Fri 24-Aug-07 19:00:45

No she doesn't need to. Nothing wrong with nurseries, but there's nothing more natural than a chid being looked after it's mother. Anyway, most SAh mums I know do tons of stuff with their kids,k so they get lots of socialising with other kids and regular playdates, and can go and do messy play with paint etc at playgroups and similar.

Heathcliffscathy Fri 24-Aug-07 19:02:20


indiasmum Fri 24-Aug-07 19:32:40

absolutely not.
what he/she needs is their mum.
any mum who says its for benefit of child is lying and trying to diffuse any gulit they have over not wanting to be with their child.
your child can have interaction with oother children with you present. eg at toddler groups or at friends houses or soft play.

why have them if you are going to put them in a nursery? if you want a break from your child, say so, dont pretend its fro the childs benefit because its not.

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