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I'm really struggling

(4 Posts)
Lolacat1234 Mon 09-Dec-19 11:45:29

Just looking for words of encouragement really. My DD is almost 8 months and I'm finding it really hard. She's a fairly happy baby but quite highly strung and not a great napper/sleeper. I think it's more me than her though. I have an 8 year old son and I thoroughly enjoyed his baby stage, I remember loving my maternity leave and being so sad at the thought of returning to work. This time round I can't wait and I feel so bad about that. I just feel like I'm doing a terrible job. My daughter today has spent the whole morning since 5:55am whinging and crying. I'm at the last shred of patience and I feel like I want to leave her safe in her cot and run away. Let me be clear I would never harm her and she's safe with me, I just feel like I don't want to do this anymore. My partner is supportive but occasionally thoughtless. For example he was out all yesterday morning while I had the baby at home, had her for 10 minutes while I got myself ready to go out for lunch with a friend with the baby (he stayed at home) then as soon as I walked in the door with her and said I would like an hour to myself to have a bath he says "oh I was just about to go and have a bath" after spending 3 hours on the sofa watching tv while I was out with the baby. I felt like crying. I got my bath in the end but felt like it was rushed as we were nearing her bedtime and I had to ask him to hurry up and get out of the bath after he'd been in there an hour. I digress, anyway that's just another reason I feel fed up and done in with the whole thing. She's not the worst sleeper, still has a night feed though and is an early riser, sometimes on a bad night I'm running in with the dummy multiple times. I just feel like I can't stop comparing the whole experience to what it was like with my son who was an angel baby, good eater, sleeper, happy as anything etc etc. It's not healthy for me to keep doing this I know. When will this get easier?? Thanks for listening it feels like a weight off just to write down and admit that I'm hating this.

OP’s posts: |
haventgotabloodyclue Mon 09-Dec-19 14:17:48

No wise words I'm afraid but DD1 was much the same. I couldn't understand why everyone was enjoying mat leave and I was struggling to get to 9am every day... Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you need to. I did eventually also go see a doctor and he diagnosed PND, though to be honest just bursting into tears in the doctors waiting room was relief enough and weirdly after that point I felt able to go on. I also took DD to a pediatrician to check if she was ok and he was very reassuring - baby was fine, but I needed some support. I would recommend going to speak to someone if you can. Is there anyone who can take DC for a short period to give you a few hours of sanity? While my DD1 is still quite hard work (she is nearly 5 now), I feel like we have an very special bond, like we know each other better than I do DD2 who of course I love dearly but who is an absolute doddle by comparison. It's like we've been through the wars together and are coming out the other side. Hang in there, good luck and don't be afraid to ask for help. And have a big cry whenever you need!

Lolacat1234 Mon 09-Dec-19 20:35:08

Thank you, I really needed to read this today. I also wonder if I feel a bit of PND creeping in as this feeling of not being able to cope and being overwhelmed all the time. It makes me feel like I just don't want to go out even though being out and about seems to improve my daughters mood and she seems less grumpy. I feel like things will eventually improve if I can just hang in there and take it minute by minute as you say. It's nice to hear you have a lovely bond with your daughter now, I needed to hear that. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it.xx

OP’s posts: |
surreygirl1987 Wed 11-Dec-19 20:30:19

I had the same. My son is 14 months old now and still hard work but much easier than he was. He was ridiculously tough as a young baby and I hated maternity leave... literally counted down the weeks til I returned to work! I think I also developed pnd due to my son being so difficult. I found getting into a routine really helped, plus going out twice a day as he was much easier out and about (I think he liked the distraction. My son did get easier but is still hard work now! I have my sexond on the way so I'm hoping for an easy one this time round!!

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