4 year olds school experience so far.

[Madaboutthem2]

Hello everyone. I wrote a post not long ago about my dd. She started school on september. Fully expected her to be shy and take a while to speak and mingle. She was coming out of school happy and seemed to be making friends. Then her first parents evening came and it was fairly rubbish. I never expected to hear she's great at everything, but other than she was good and always smiling it was abit negative. She couldn't cut out, she only wanted to be on the creative table and she was abit of a loner. Doesn't talk much. Struggling to grasp routines

Fast forward six weeks and I'm told to get her ears and eyes tested. We have those booked in. They also said her behaviour has got silly. She's gone lively and when she's with her lifelong boy/male friend she's abit bonkers. She also hit someone which was very out if character.

I was sad as I thought she was improving massively. She is starting to write, she's recognising letters and mentioning different names. I had words with her and did her a behaviour chart. It worked! They said everyday last week she was good!!! I was so relieved but then she said she's still needing lots of reminders and is struggling to grasp the routine. She told me not to worry about that and they will work on that. Fair enough.

Last week I went to collect her and was told there had been an incident. I was thinking oh no what now. Turns out a six year old had kicked my DD and smeared mud allover her face. They said this child had problems but had been dealt with. Then today DD, she tells me a boy in her class thumped her at lunchtime.

I suggested to her tonight to try play with some of the girls tomorrow instead. I think she's not moving away from the boy she's always known and she's being one of the boys all the time. This is fine but I don't like all the silly rough things she's starting to do,like shooting things with her umbrella etc. I know the teachers can't guide her to play with others but I'm really worried about her social skills. She can't seem to find the balance. Tonight she told me she was calling her friend Isabelle, bell. Apparently isabelle told her to stop calling her that. This isn't the first time she's shortened someone's name being silly and upset them.

I obviously don't know exactly what's going on but if feels like she's not quite mastering social skills. She's done nursery, playgroup and meeting up with friends. To be honest playdates always failed before she started school as she's very possesive of me.

I'm so stressed out. I'm sorry if this is a long post. I just feel other kids can do it so why can't mine? She's also very possesive of her best friend (the boy)

[tempnamechange98765]

You will probably get people coming along and saying she may have ASD, that seems to be the answer for everything that's a bit different in a child.

No advice sorry, except for you to wait and see how she settles, she's still very young. I also would try to avoid making suggestions about friendships etc or trying to get involved too much (this is a lesson I need to take from myself!) as it's important to let our children be who they want to be, as long as they're not hurting anyone. The "Bell" thing for Isabelle sounds like a typical 4 year old joke to me (it's definitely the kind of thing my nearly 4 year old would find funny!) and your DD wasn't doing any harm.

[Madaboutthem2]

Hi, yes I have had that suggested to me on here in the past. Family say she's a normal four year old. My friend said there's nothing wrong with her she just has got to learn social skills abit more.

I mean a lack of social skills can be Asperger's. But it can be a personality thing too. I guess I feel like I'm in a waiting game to see when she will actually learn her social skills and develop a faster response etc. It's one of those things where she's never had any issues as a baby with being fussy, food and textures etc. I've read up alot on these things and the mums often say it started young. She doesn't have sensory issues, apart from hand dryers freak her out. But they do alot of people.