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2 year old doesn't like other children

(12 Posts)
mumsemily Wed 22-Aug-07 11:47:17

Hi my DD is 26 months and I think it may be a fear of other children.

We take her to the local leisure centre soft play or a wacky warehouse on a weekend which she loves, but as another child no matter what size comes up to her or near her she stands and cries and gets all upset.

She goes to toddler group once a week and plays fine, but again when a child goes on the slide before her she has a hissy fit.

Emily also does grasp the concept of sharing yet, which I think is normal for her age.

How can I get her to more sociable, we are going to a haven holiday park next week, I'm dreading it if she kicks off with all the children there.

Any suggestions please.

Lisa

MrsWeasley Wed 22-Aug-07 11:58:10

my DS used to love helping me to set up the local toddler group in the mornings but when the other kids started to arrive he would cling to my leg and constantly ask to go home!

He hated pre-school too as the other kids wouldnt leave him alone and always wanted to sit by him and the staff kept talking to him

Short term we stopped going out as mush which TBH suited us both Long term (he is now 6) is started school fine and loves it.

Cant really offer any advise as it very much depends on you and your situation but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

EscapeFrom Wed 22-Aug-07 11:59:25

Lower your expectations drastically, and then you won't worry as much.

She won't grasp sharing for at least another 2 r 3 years - she might grasp taking turns though. She will probably feel a bit more friendly by the time she is three.

She probably will kick off with the other children, just pick he up and move her if she does.

EscapeFrom Wed 22-Aug-07 12:00:57

My tone was supposed to come across as friendly and sympathetic, by the way, not snappish and cold.

jabberwocky Wed 22-Aug-07 12:06:04

It sounds like your dd is very sensitive and easily overwhelmed when meeting someone new. There's a couple of great books on rhis - The Highly Sensitive Child and Raising Your Spirited Child. My ds1 is the same way but they are abl to cope over time. Just don't push her into playing and don't let people label her as "shy".

PanicPants Wed 22-Aug-07 12:07:43

Ds doesn't like other children, he doesn't know, much either - except he doesn't stand and cry, he growls at them (honestly) if in the buggy or hits out at them instead

mumsemily Wed 22-Aug-07 12:56:00

Thanks ladies

I think with us both working we like to do things as a family and she's always asking to go to the park or play, its just when we get there she goes abit wobbly.

DP thinks stop taking her out will solve the problem but I don't want to stop taking her places.

My cousins little boy is nearly 3 and when she's at my aunties house she plays with him fine and shares his toys but back my mothers house Bobby isn't allowed to play with her toys.

I guess its just another one of the phases little ones go through and we will come out ok at the end.

Thanks again

Lisa

boo64 Wed 22-Aug-07 14:54:36

Ds (2.2) has been like this too. He is fine now at nursery but didn't used to be. If other toddlers get too close all hell was let loose - lots of tears.

He still does it a bit e.g. at the playground if little ones get too close.

he seems fine with older children.

I really think he developed a bit of a fear of toddlers as he was whacked a few times when he was around 12 months and had a few other bad experiences at their hands. He learned the hard way that toddlers are a bit unpredictable and especially was wary if he didn't know them.

Maybe you could introduce #playdates' (hate the term and the actual playdates) with a quieter child who she can get to know and who won't overwhelm her?

My ds isn't shy but he hates more confident boisterous kids, especially if they are invading his space - either personal or at home. So much so that I am now not going to have any such kids over if I can at all help it - it's just too stressful!

NAB3 Wed 22-Aug-07 14:56:25

My DD never used to like being around other children. Especially when they were bein noisy. She is 4 now and much better.

mumsemily Wed 22-Aug-07 14:59:45

Now that you mention it, when we first started taking her wacky warehouses and such there were a few horrible kids that took things off her and one even had cornered in the soft play area.

Could be that!!!!

Lisa

boo64 Wed 22-Aug-07 15:02:51

Yep.

My poor ds is a cautious chap (you should try getting him to do anything vaguely adventurous in a playground - takes ages!) and he just finds these boisterous brutes a bit much. She sounds very similar.

They probably learned the hard way that toddlers are a bit unpredictable - whilst some other kids take that in their stride and don't care, unfortunately ds gets all scaredy.

The upside is, (I am so tempting fate here!) he is a sensible little chap - so whilst being around other kids can be a nightmare, at home for example, he is pretty easy (positive comment here cue for chaotic nightmare behaviour from ds this afternoon!!))

tribpot Wed 22-Aug-07 15:18:41

My ds (2.2 today!) is very like boo64's. Generally fine with older children, but wary of toddlers. Prefers to watch than to join in (has never gone to nursery so is generally less boisterous I think) and enjoys toddler group.

Understands the 'concept' of taking turns but always thinks it should be his turn first (and preferably that everyone else's turn should be extremely short compared to his!). Definitely doesn't understand sharing.

Your dd sounds very normal, I wouldn't be alarmed.

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