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14 month old DS V.advanced but becoming a nightmare to be around

(5 Posts)
matt1980uk Tue 21-Aug-07 22:04:27

We have a 14 month year old boy who has been very advanced for his age. He was walking very well by 9 months and is a real climber and fidget. About 4 weeks ago we had another baby boy, since the birth of our new baby, William our 14 monoth old, seems to be increasingly difficult to cope with. He has always been a poor sleeper but is now all too often founding his way into our bed. He is also generally becoming out of control.

He is now not sleeping without about an 1-2 hours worth of household panto before hand. We have tried controlled crying when he was 7 months old and know this doesn't work due to him getting so upset he is sick, we have also tried gradual withdrawel but sensing our departure he will climb out of the cot bed, screaming after us. He climbs everywhere and has been getting up on window sills, tables, draws- you name it he's climbing on it/up it. He now completly ignores my warnings of "No" and seems to take pleasure when i smack his hand away from the likes of plug sockets.

I appreciate he is testing boundaries and is probably seeking more of my wifes attention now it is more focused on our newborn, but we need an action plan to sort his behaviour out.

Sleep time is the worst its ever has been and im loosing more and more time/sleep and its making the whole household very tense.

Matt and Lisa

HonoriaGlossop Tue 21-Aug-07 23:00:34

Some of this you already know is about adjusting to his new sibling. So it is just GOING to happen - it doesn't necessarily mean your approach is wrong, or that things will be like this forever.

Don't be panicked into trying a million different approaches as this may just confuse the issue even more.

Firstly, I want to say don't bother 'smacking' his hand away from sockets etc. You just don't need to smack it. That is attention and yes, kids do like negative attention. They prefer positive but will pursue negative if it's easy to get. So I think from now on you need a firm NO and immediate distraction. Don't pay the behaviour any attention, gently remove his hand or him, and get straight on to something else that he is allowed to do.

Look again at your expectations of him; make sure you're not expecting too much of him. Most kids wouldn't play alone for two minutes without getting into mischief.

With the bedtime thing, I do sympathise as my ds did this and it's very hard to deal with. Again I think don't be panicked into doing stuff - decide on an approach and stick with it. Some people press on with controlled crying; to be honest, once they've been sick that's that done with. It can be cleaned up and you just carry on - you won't be deterred.

That's not the approach I was comfortable with personally; we ended sitting in with ds while he dropped off but strictly only if he layed down and stopped playing, and was quiet. If he got up or played about, he knew we would go, so he soon got the deal.

But you're not alone, it's a hard age, and it's hard for them to adjust to a new sibling too. Keep strong and keep supporting eachother.

matt1980uk Wed 22-Aug-07 23:07:37

Thank you for your ideas and suggestions. Tonight we made a really big thing of our bed calm down time, getting him to cuddle all of us before bed. I then took him up for a bath and talked to him at all points explaining what i was doing. Then i put him into bed and read to him for about 15 minutes. He was still awak at this point but very tired so i lay him down with his dummy and stroked his forehead.

Success, he went down within 10 minutes. Which from 2 hours is a major improvement. He woke up briefly 30 minutes ago but all i did was put his dummy back in and he settled back to sleep.

Hopefully this will be a pattern of improvement.

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House Wed 22-Aug-07 23:11:18

i agree with HD, be consistant with your approach and try not to expect too much! he is still very little and has suddenly been pipped to the post for the centre of your world (from his point of view) he will go for any attention he can get!

good luck!

HonoriaGlossop Thu 23-Aug-07 10:43:24

matt that sounds a really lovely bedtime routine. Glad it went so well. I think it was really clever to have the cuddles and then talk him through absolutely everything; so many people forget to talk to their young kids. they understand so much; I think pretty much everything, even at your ds' age!

Good luck.

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