I hope I've posted this in the right section.. apologies if not.
Ok so I'll try and summarise this as best I can as it's been going on a long time.
My daughter was happy and enjoying primary school up until her year last year. At the end of year 4 she was told that she was being split from all her friends and placed into a new mixed class with years 4/5 in the next school year. She was devastated. She was put with a handful of the rest of the younger year fives but included only two girls, her and one other who she had never really had anything to do with. She tried desperately to be friends with this other girl. I know because I invited her out with us, for sleepovers etc. This little girl was very.. how shall I say.. sassy..clever little thing. They were very different children and needless to say they clashed and there were the usual playground politics. My DD tried desperately to play with her other friends but different lunch times and play times between the classes meant that it didn't happen. She became withdrawn and didn't want to go out to play and instead opted for jobs to do witting the school, kept her head down and cracked on. I spoke to her teachers several times and the only solution the head came up with was to give her a pass to sit with reception kids at lunch!
Anyway.. cutting a long story short her class was put back together this September.. hurray! Well it wasn't that simple. Her old friends had paired up with new ones and she found it hard to be accepted into the friendship groups again.
But she kept on plodding along trying new friends etc.
But every day was more tears. I spoke to her teacher on parents evening who again said she was a joy, "the angel of the school" a lovely little thing. I raised my concerns again after notes were being passed around the classroom calling her names. All sorts of horrible behaviour from these girls.
He said he would sort.
Then today my DD came out of school white as a sheet. Holding back tears and her little hands were shaking.
I got her in the car and it all came out.
She had been asked to do a job by another teacher mid class and was taken to another classroom. She thought this was great!
Until she went back to her own classroom where her teacher had used that time (deliberately set up) to ask the entire class why they didn't like her. He then fed this back to her. It was all girls stuff like how they felt threatened by her trying to be friends with their friends etc. It was a hard listen for her but she took it all on board but still had no solution.
Then after that the other teacher got all the girls together sat them round in a circle and asked the girls (about 15 of them) to put their hands up one by one and tell DD to her face what it was they didn't like about her. My DD has to sit there on her own, crying.. listening to all this. Her heart was literally broken.
This was then followed up by the teacher saying that because my DD didn't have a full time dad in her life and we have a baby maybe she had grown up too fast!!! Wtf! Then proceeded to ask all the other kids wether they had full time dads in their lives.
My DD was sat there listening to all this, crying, no arm around her, nothing! The only thing it was wrapped up with was "how do you feel about that?" And my DD replied "it's all my fault" 💔
There was no follow up and she told me that she wishes she had a full time dad in her life. And that she doesn't know who she is anymore. And everything I had wanted her her, to be strong, determined and independent was being used as a stick to beat her with. She didn't want to be her anymore. She's ten!
She doesn't want to go into school tomorrow, quite understandably.
I'm gob smacked. I just can't believe it. Can anyone help with next steps?
Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.
Behaviour/development
10 year old humiliated by teacher
Windmill1828 · 06/11/2019 00:17
That is one of the worst situations I have read on MN on how teachers have treated a child. Your poor daughter.
Firstly, I’d ask for your post to be moved to another board with much more traffic so you can get some good advice from others who have encountered similar situations.
Secondly, my child has only just started school so I’m not sure of the procedures to follow but I’d absolutely be contacting the Head tomorrow for an urgent meeting to lay a strong complaint against these grossly unprofessional, and quite frankly, nasty teachers. I’d also consider not sending my child into school until you have had a meeting with the Head.
Thirdly, given the friendship situation has been dragging on for quite some time I’d be looking at transferring to a new school. I’m not sure how I could ever respect or trust a teacher who did this to my child, and really I would have thought a group of 10-year-olds would know it was just plain wrong on all levels to treat a fellow pupil like this but I guess a pack mentality made them go along with it.
I wish you and your DD all the best 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.