High Needs baby Help :(

(8 Posts)
Toffeecoffeee Fri 25-Oct-19 16:49:09

Hi everyone

My baby is just coming up for 9 months and has always been “high needs”

Naps last 30mins
Waking every 30-40 minutes crying at night
Moans all day unless being held
Will play for 10 minutes by himself before moaning to be picked up
Cries at baby classes

I think this is just his personality, I’m not really looking for any advice as I feel I’ve tried mostly everything.

It just gets me down when I’m around other mums and their babies at a similar age who all seem so chilled out whereas he moans all day everyday.

Just wondering if anyone else’s baby is like this and does it ever get better x

OP’s posts: |
Kiki12 Fri 25-Oct-19 20:03:01

Just a random thought but could he be hungry? Does he need more food? Or could he have a gripey tummy? Does he hitch his feet up alot? Might be worth popping to docs just to make sure there's nothing underlying.
Playing on thier own doesn't really happen till thier older tbh! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!

Toffeecoffeee Sat 26-Oct-19 08:35:49

Hey! Thanks for your reply!

I don’t think he’s hungry he’s on 3 meals a day and still taking plenty of milk.

He doesn’t bring his legs up to his tummy either.

I think it might just be “him” because he stops moaning as soon as I pick him up and carry him around, so if he was in pain he wouldn’t stop moaning when carried if that makes sense?

I just can’t carry him around all day he’s getting so big and I literally can’t get anything done- even making his lunch is stressful because he just moans if I’m not holding him x

OP’s posts: |
Kiki12 Sat 26-Oct-19 10:17:29

Can you hold him in a baby sling at all?
He just wants his mum probably. I know it's frustrating! I remember not being able to concentrate on anything whilst mine was crying/moaning.
Is he able to go in a walker yet or door boucer? Anything you can do for a little break. Have you tried cbeebies yet?!
If I were you I'd try getting things done while you've got someone else to entertain him. Get lunch prepped etc. Make sure you get some time to yourself if you can. Even half an hour. Then It's much easier to deal with.
When you have to do stuff just keep talking to him tell him what your doing and why. Mummy is coming back in a minute. Eventually he'll understand what your saying.
Remember it won't last forever. They change often and there's a new set of problems to deal with but also cute milestones too.
Your doing a great job you must be an amazing mummy if he just wants you all the time! ;)

surreygirl1987 Sat 26-Oct-19 13:13:20

Hey, I know exactly what you mean and I had the same. It drove me mad and is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. If it helps, my son is now 1 and, although still very much high needs and hard work, is so much easier. He got easier with every milestone. He started crawling at 9 months and that was a huge turning point for him. He's actually really cheerful most of the time these days... but all hell breaks loose if I tell him no! 🤦🏼‍♀️ He's now a happy but very demanding little boy who knows what he wants and makes sure he gets it. He is still the loudest baby ever though and the most likely to fuss in a baby class. But he's different now and easier in general. Also for me going back to work was what I needed. He went to nursery at 10 months and is thriving there. I second a carrier - I still use one with my son frequently even though he's 98th percentile!

Toffeecoffeee Sat 26-Oct-19 20:30:28

Thank you so much for both replying to me!

What slings do you both use?

Kiki ur comment about being a good mum made me smile thank you!

Surreygirl I’m glad your baby is easier now, it gives me hope for my little boy!


OP’s posts: |
SurfingGiantess Sat 26-Oct-19 23:39:08

I'm up with my 11 month old. Shes my 3rd and hardest baby. Wakes frequently at night. Doesn't nap much. Needs to be held a lot. I also use a sling. I have the connecta and a boba. Love the connecta though.
I know I'll be up a lot tonight again. Tbh she slept better at 3 months than she does now but she's my last so I'm trying to enjoy it. It won't last long.

surreygirl1987 Sun 27-Oct-19 08:37:50

I use the baby bjorn (I think it's called air) and we use it every day at some point, e.g. for nipping to the post office as it's quicker than getting the pram out. He loves it. However, from discussion with friends it sounds like the ergo baby is much better and I do regret not getting that actually. If we have baby number 2 I might invest in it - can always sell them on eBay for a reasonable price afterwards.

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