Super clingy son

(7 Posts)
FreshStartNewBeginings Tue 22-Oct-19 08:33:27

Hello,
I really need some help and advise.

I have two children my son Joshua is 7 and my daughter Ella is 10 , my son has always always been a mommy's boy ever since he was a baby it's all me that he wants, however when Joshua was 1 me and the children's father split up (they've got same dad) he continued to see them every weekend and took them on holiday etc a year later I got into a new relationship fast forward to this last year and social services stopped the children's father from seeing them as the kids told school he was hitting them (smacking when naughty he is very short tempered ) this was in the September, he took me to court to gain access to the children but unfortunately we didn't see the court case through as he passed away in May, the relationship I was in I was always very controlled to the point where I only left the house to get the kids from school and do a bit of food shopping the relationship then turned violent and me and my children had to run , we are currently living in a women's refuge however that is not my problem the problem is my son is super clingy I mean clingy to the point where he would rather sit and wet himself than go to the toilet without me , he walks that close to me when we're out that he causes me to trip over, I always have to be in eye sight of him and if I'm not he panics and has a tantrum, he won't go up to his room alone he will go with his sister but then it's every couple of minutes he is coming to give me a hug to make sure I'm still there basically, I've tried talking to people and all they say is he has been through a lot he will settle down and that's all fair and true but he's always been like this but it has got worse since the above has happened I mean even if I'm in the shower he will sit outside not sure if he thinks I'm going to escape down the drain or something lol.
But when he goes to school he is absolutely fine he doesn't cry for me he goes to bathroom alone school have said he shows nothing like what I've mentioned.

I love my children so so much and I will do anything for them but Joshua also needs to give me a little bit of space and he needs to be a little more independent.

Please any advice I would massively appreciate

Xxx

OP’s posts: |
FreshStartNewBeginings Tue 22-Oct-19 08:48:25

I should also add that he won't visit family for a few hours and definitely won't stay over night unless I'm there .

OP’s posts: |
Babs5693 Tue 22-Oct-19 19:18:45

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear your situation, I hope you are ok, not only have your children been through a lot but sounds like you have the most. I was a very clingy child I wouldn’t let my mum go out, I once threatened to leave home if she went to the pub! I was 10 grin, my dad wasn’t there much as he was and is an alcoholic, so I clung to my mum and all I can say is it passed. I was fine at school and became very confident and excelled but at home I needed my mum and that’s the way it was. As I got older and became a teenager I went out with friends and became more independent. I am still extremely close to my mum she is an amazing, strong women that I look up to, I speak to her everyday. I know this doesn’t help but wanted to share my experience with you xx

Babs5693 Tue 22-Oct-19 21:10:36

Also just a thought do you think he may think you will leave (die) like his dad? Just wondering if bereavement counselling might help.

FreshStartNewBeginings Tue 22-Oct-19 21:23:03

Hello, it is possible that that's why it's got worse in the last few months , Joshua was due to start his bereavement councilling on the Friday as we fled on the Wednesday.
I wouldn't rule it out that it's a possibility as like I say it's got worse, but at the same time he's always been like it

I'm sorry to hear about what you went through, your mom sounds like an amazing strong woman xx

OP’s posts: |
Babs5693 Wed 23-Oct-19 15:31:07

She truly is, I think if he’s always been like it, it may have gotten worse due to it, I would say start the counselling, reassure him as much as possible and it won’t last forever. If you are like me and my mum you will have an amazing bond for the rest of your life xx

Babs5693 Wed 23-Oct-19 19:44:23

Sorry I also want to add, what a strong woman you are for leaving your abusive partner and fleeing, not everyone has the courage to do that, I hope you are ready proud of yourself!!! star xxx

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