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5 year old sudden behaviour change violent

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Dalmeida Fri 11-Oct-19 19:27:26

Nearly 5 year old has been in nursery and pre school since 9 months. Always played well and sociable has older sister of 7. Been in the nursery attached to his now school For year previous with no issues apart from some general bad listening stuff. Since starting reception he’s just become really violent at school. Two days in a row he spat, bit and punched two different kids and got sent to head teacher. This week he scratched a kid really badly across the face for not being let in at the sink. He got internally excluded as they call it at school today for a few hours...he’s 4! I’m mortified and confused. I’ve asked for a SEN discussion at school which I have appointment for on Monday which is great. What I’m seeking is anyone who’s experienced sudden behaviour change and what suggestions of paths to follow might be. My son seems really confused and unable to explain what’s going on. He seems to know he’s done wrong but can’t seem to control these outbursts at the time. His personality is mischievous but also he is very sensitive. I’ve often wondered if he has some kind of sensory processing issue. I’m so concerned about the ability to keep school supporting him given this number of early incidents and also him being seen as the troublesome child that parents tell their kids to keep away from. I want to support him as best as I can, help! Thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
Hopingforhappiness1 Sat 12-Oct-19 09:44:18

Bless you it’s quite worrying isn’t it. There’s lots of things that could be going on here so you’re doing the right thing in asking for SEN input and not just dismissing it as poor behaviour.
The transition to more structured education can flare up behaviour concerns, especially if he’s in a big class and doesn’t get an awful lot of contact time with adults (I work in a school and the cuts to staff are quite scary!)
Let him know he can talk to you about anything and everything even if he thinks it will make you mad. If he’s having anger spikes you can teach him anger management strategies- you can use guided meditation for children- there’s some great ones on YouTube, and also do a bit of research into it too online.

As well as this explain to him why hurting other people is bad- work in his empathy skills and ask him how he feels when he gets hurt. Tell him you understand that sometimes he can’t help his outbursts but that he must really try not to hurt others. Repeat to him to tell a teacher if he’s upset about something at school. And if he has a good day make sure you go all out and tell him how proud you are of him!

As long as you’re trying you are doing right by you’re child. good luck smile

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