Lazy?

[inspector1983]

Am I lazy? I talk to my son (18 months) but not loads. I narrate stuff that I do and I read to him Altho sometimes he takes the book off me to read on his own 😂 but I try. He does allow me to read the "that's not my..." books so we get through those fine. But I'm not a huge talker and neither is hubby so is it ok if we don't talk tons? We do our best tho I hope? He does watch tv mornings and evenings which he does enjoy but we make sure to take him out during the day to soft play or baby group

I guess sometimes I feel like a lazy parent. That I could try harder but don't always have the motivation. And I do love him very much but in this day and age it's easy to be lazy. But overall I feel that we do ok. We could prob do better but I'm sure plenty of parents do worse

Does anyone else feel like this now or in the past and how did your kids turn out

[HennyPennyHorror]

Not everyone talks a lot. As long as he's being interacted with daily and going out he'll be fine. I never shut up so mine had a constant drone in their lives!

Do you chat when he's out in his buggy? I used to talk about where we were going and what plants and animals we saw.

[inspector1983]

Hi thanks for your reply. In the buggy I do sometimes but not always and that's Cos he's facing outwards so I don't know how much he can hear as where we are is busy/louder

So this morning I made a conscious effort after breakfast to read to him in his high chair so no real distractions like tv etc. So I read the tiger who came to tea and he was looking at first but then got distracted playing with a strap on the high chair

He does love when I do nursery rhymes which I'm trying to read slower so that he will pick up the words

We are now sat here listening to nursery rhyme music

[HennyPennyHorror]

If he likes nursery rhymes, try singing other songs too. My DD liked show tunes! Many the morning I had to belt out "Tomorrow" from Annie for her before she'd put her shoes on! Also, put other music on when you're in the house...doesn't need to be children's music at all...mine loved Elivs, Fleetwood Mac...Johnny Cash, The Killers...all kinds! Sing along...it's amazing for their brain development.

[inspector1983]

Is music good for their speech though? I guess I'm just conscious that if I have music on all day, or most of the day, then he won't be able to hear/understand properly when I'm speaking to him. In terms of him picking up words I mean.

[HennyPennyHorror]

You don't have it on all day

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/08/singing-children-development-language-skills#targetText=%22Music%20assists%20in%20the%20development,about%20tone%2C%20beat%20and%20rhythm.

[inspector1983]

Oh ok thanks for that

Now I'm not saying this is me at all but there must be some people who don't talk to their kids much at all and does their speech presumably still be ok?

[HennyPennyHorror]

I don;t think it's ideal to "not talk to your kids much" at all. You need to keep up a conversation with preschool children when you're with them.

Obviously when they're playing alone or watching TV it's fine not to talk to them. But not talking much at all to them isn't good.

[inspector1983]

That's not what I was asking 🙈

I was trying to say that somewhere out there, there might be mums who don't talk to their children and do you think their speech would still have turned out ok

[HennyPennyHorror]

No I don't. I think parents who don't speak to their children or who speak little to them, will impact that child's brain development in a negative way.

Their speech may turn out "ok" but to help a child reach full potential, they do need a lot of input.

[surreygirl1987]

Yeh I agree with the above poster. I find talking all day long exhausting and as I'm a school teacher I would love to have quiet time on my days off. But as I have a 1 year old I know I need to be communicating and interacting with him plenty. Not all day long, but most of the day. I don't talk to him the whole time he's in the pram, but might point out things to him every now and again. I'll let him play on his own for a bit but I'll also have conversations with him plenty throughout the day too, and might also interact with him every now and again while he's having independent play. We read loads every day - 10-20 books - because he loves them. He throws the ones he doesn't want to look at on the floor. He is in nursery 3 days a week too though where i presume/hope he's getting plenty of interaction! But basically I do think that parental conversation/ interaction with a child does impact on their language development. I know you're not much of a talker and it's great to admit that... But it is something you could do with addressing. To be honest I feel like a rubbish mother most of the time - I'm not naturally maternal- but, like you, it's something I have to address for my child's benefit as I want him to have a good start in life.

[inspector1983]

I am making more effort now and as I said before I have started reading books to him in the high chair after breakfast with no distractions such as tv or toys

I do chat to him throughout the day but sometimes it is background talk if u like so I'm not necessarily talking to his face as he is playing etc but equally there is no other noise so hopefully he can hear me and take it in that way too, do u think that counts? Like I will say mummy is going to get breakfast now and he follows me but at the point that I say I'm off to the kitchen I'm just saying it out loud in the room so he's not watching my lips move but then there's no noise so he has heard me and hopefully listened so that's what I mean by background talking

[HennyPennyHorror]

That sounds ok but you do need to communicate with him directly, looking at his face and letting him see yours. A lot.

[inspector1983]

I do do that. We are together all the time as I'm a SAHM and I always make sure to allocate fun time to tickle play games etc where he sees me properly and is engaging directly with me plus also At mealtimes

[HennyPennyHorror]

Well why are you asking on here then? You keep coming back and looking for something...nobody can read your mind. You obviously feel doubt or something but it's probably just your own insecurity OP. Chill out.