Reception class - summer baby - 4 year old

(7 Posts)
Purplerose85 Thu 19-Sep-19 19:14:25

If you have experience with reception class and summer babies, I would appreciate your advice. Apologies for the long post. My sons teacher asked me stay behind for a “word” at school pick up today, she did the same on week 1 too with a similar conversation but today has really upset me. I feel a bit silly but I had tears on the way home! She’s not happy my son was a bit naughty at school today as he struggled to wait in line quietly and he didn’t stop running around outside when they said stop. When he was spoken to about the running he just walked off and ignored the teacher and in the queue he pulled a grumpy face. I completely understand this behaviour isn’t great and as his parent I have spoken to him about it. Last time it was the Friday on his first week and today it’s Thursday on his third week. I explained that he’s only just turned 4 (summer baby) and he’s gone from 2 days at play school to a full 5 day week at big school so he’s getting tired. She made me feel like I was just giving excuses. She said she’s worried what other staff members will think of him and even though he’s good at learning (maths and English) he won’t hit his targets as behaviour is part of it. He still struggles with the toilet and he’s come home with his trousers smelling of wee wee. The teacher suggested he wore joggers to school and they would complete a log to tell me when they send him to the toilet. I declined this as the joggers would make him different to the other children and I do not need a log. He’s toilet trained and has been dry for quite some time now, he’s just getting anxious at school.
My son is an absolute joy and I don’t have any issues at home. We have a great routine and when he does act up I do provide boundaries and discipline which improves his behaviour. I wouldn’t say he’s a problem child and he’s always been polite. I just feel like the school is expecting too much, he’s just turned 4 and he’s the youngest in his class. I feel like his age is against him and he is expected to be the same as children nearly a year older. He is immature and he’s stubborn by only doing things when he’s ready. I think he’s been doing brilliantly and I’m worried seeing his teacher complaining about him to me will affect him negatively. He was jumping off a step and I said don’t do that please whilst we were talking and he did it again. The teacher said he’s not listening to you and nothing is happening. I was thinking I’m stood in the middle of a busy playground with a very upset tired 4 year old. I wanted to talk to him properly at home without distractions, he wasn’t actually doing anything naughty as such. I felt judged and it felt horrid. I don’t know what to do sad Please be truthful but kind! Thank you for reading smile

OP’s posts: |
tempnamechange98765 Thu 19-Sep-19 20:06:36

I'm with you Op, completely. He's little.

Sadly I had a similar (kind of) experience...at my son's play school for goodness sake! The age group was 2-3 (he was not long turned 3). Things like saying no, not wanting to do stuff, not getting in line after playing outside! While I was being told off for my son's behaviour (or it felt like it anyway!), he started messing with crayons to which I said don't do that and he ignored me. I could tell they weren't impressed. So all very similar!

I do feel like a lot is expected very young. I don't know what to advise, but I hope it gets sorted.

surreygirl1987 Thu 19-Sep-19 20:34:57

As a teacher I usually take the teachers' side... but on this occasion I totally get you. I'd be upset too. Can you request a meeting with the Head, to raise your concerns in a calm and positive, productive manner, and discuss how you and the school can work together for the good of your son? If you phrase it like that hopefully some good will come of it.

Purplerose85 Thu 19-Sep-19 22:28:32

Yes you’re right, I felt like she was telling me off for my sons behaviour! I worry being the youngest he’s always going to be lagging behind and he does have lots of potential. I’m exhausted by the end of the week and I’m not going to school!

OP’s posts: |
Purplerose85 Thu 19-Sep-19 22:31:16

That’s really helpful thank you. I think I will approach the head as you’ve suggested. I don’t want to be a difficult parent and I’m keen on resolving this with the school. I just want my son to be happy and to enjoy school.

OP’s posts: |
thatladyfromacrosstheroad Fri 20-Sep-19 19:14:23

We have the pull on trousers so no buttons or catches - elasticated with a flatish front. They are from Asda, would that help him with the toilet or is he leaving it too late to go ? Bless him.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister Fri 20-Sep-19 23:11:26

I would absolutely request a meeting with a senior member of staff present, it sounds as though the teacher is expecting far too much from a just turned 4 year old. My summer born daughter has just started school too and the teachers are wonderful, I can’t imagine them even mentioning this to a parent as it’s a non issue - he’s 4 for goodness sake!

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