I'm at the end of my tether. I just need to work out what I/we are doing wrong with dd6. I know her behaviour is awful for her age and I feel so embarrassed but I can't get through to her. We've had a good first week back at school until today where she bit another child. She said they hit her in the face first but that is no justification and I don't even know what really happened. I know that now her behaviour will just unravel at school after this.
I think consistency is really important and I always follow through on my threats and do my best to point out and praise good behaviour regularly.
Some examples of behaviour I really struggle with:
Refusing to leave the school playground at the end of the day. Running off and sticking her tongue out at me. I have a younger DC in a pram so can't pick her up and carry her.
Not accepting no for an answer even when what she wants is impossible (say, a second apple when I don't have one with me and we are in the middle of nowhere) and even when I've sympathised, explained, been firm, warned her there will be a consequence if she asks for the 590th time. This is constant extreme whining, repetitive, she will call me names, hit me etc
Constantly ignoring instructions and smirking the whole time.
She desperately craves friendship, and asks all the time if she can go to other people's houses or they can come to us and will kick off hugely when this is not possible. Lying down in the street for eg on the way home from school because she wanted to go to so and so's house. But when we do have friends round she hates to share, often refuses to let her friend sit next to her at the table, ALL play ends in tears.
She sucks her thumb and plays with her ears a lot, but even more than that she uses our (mum and dad and sometimes other relatives) bodies obsessively as a security blanket. She plays with our ears in a specific way, pinches the crease on our elbows, presses her face against our skin, strokes the tops of our arms and smacks my chest. She will try to do this often in public. Something that seemed cute at 2 but not so much at 6.
She doesn't display any anxiety but she completely lacks emotional resilience. If she hurts herself she WAILS. Lots of comments from others about how she is a screamer/dramatic. I dread party games etc
She can not sit still at the table, will have to be asked not to stand on, or get up from her chair every 10 seconds for every single meal and it still won't sink in. Knocks and spills things over several times a day.
She has an older and younger sibling but gets plenty of one to one time, sensory play, affection, read to daily, lots of nice days out and time in nature but plenty of down time.
All in all, she is more like a typical 2 or 3 year old. Not a 6 year old. There is no reasoning with her and I am exhausted. Does anyone please have any suggestions?
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Behaviour/development
Why is my child so difficult?
10 replies
user1573354 · 12/09/2019 00:47
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