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Why wont ds sleep

(17 Posts)
jaynel Wed 08-Aug-07 22:53:46

im not sure if ive posted in the right place, but im at the end of my tether and dont know what to do. my ds has been very good at going to bed but over the last 2 weeks he has been horendous, its started when we put him down for a nap, his window was open and the curtains were closed, it was a bit windy out and the curtains blow a bit, this freakd him out, now we cant get him to have a nap and bed time is a complete battle, he wont stay in bed, he crys constantly, and wants to get in my bed or come downstairs, once we have finally got him to sleep he is up a few hours later, crying, shouting etc. The other nite he got up at 0230 i was putting him back to bed constantly until 0430 when i couldnt cope any longer and put him in my bed as i had to get up for work at 0600. we have tried the softly softly approach, we have tried being cross, we have tried taking him for a long walk with the dogs to totally wear him out, weve read storys, left lights on, weve tried everything,the only thing that works is laying with him until his asleep or putting him our bed which we really dont want to get into as i know how hard it is to get out of it. he has never moaned about bed, and he has never had a problem with sleeping in the dark.

can ayne give me any advice or help as im exhausted and need a good nite sleep. He is 2 years old have posted this in chat but didnt get much response

mistlethrush Wed 08-Aug-07 23:03:36

Ds now 2.5. We went though a period much like this a few months ago. Ds started waking up with bad dreams (nasty monsters). This got so bad that he was to frighten

ed to go to sleep - and it happened in other settings (visited parents) as well. Spent a number of nights holding hands for a long long long time (not at all comfortable).

I am very glad to say that this is all in the past and he is sleeping very well again. (I hope that this gives you hope!)

Sleeping with ds, which we tried at times, is virtually impossible - too many fingers, toes, kicking, bouncing......

What I tried to do was to look for the things that would 'frighten away' the monsters - the picture that his granny painted for him, his quilt with sheep on that his granny made him, his favourite toy, his green monster toy, his lion toy... We talked about how these would make sure that he was safe and that they would make sure that no monsters would come.

All I can say is that, if ds is anything to go by, it will pass! Hope it does for you too

hermykne Wed 08-Aug-07 23:04:23

if the curtain thing did upset him perhaps changing his sleep routine might help him, and using yuor room for a few nights might ease him back into his normal routine. i dont think you should think this iwill start a habit you wont be able to break becasue if you get your sleep well nobody is losing out. maybe rearrange his room with his input etc etc.

then again that incident mightnt be anything to so with his pattern now, talk to him during the day casually about night time and how its good to sleep, energy, you grow, etc, kiddy things so he comes round to liking it agsin


mears Wed 08-Aug-07 23:07:07

Perhaps it is worth trying to cut out the afternoon nap now so that he will be more tired at bedtime.

If you find he is flagging around about 4pm (mine did when they stopped napping), try bathing him before his tea to keep him wakened. A change in routine may help the situation you are in.

jaynel Wed 08-Aug-07 23:10:26

we have moved his room around but still no joy,i really hope it will pass i just dont want him to get used to sleeping with us or us laying with him, have tried to make light of the curtains,has he has different diggers on them, he is fine about them in the day and will go in his room with no probs its just at bedtime

jaynel Wed 08-Aug-07 23:12:23

hmm have already tried stopping his nap,still no different,is just very ratty the next day through lack of sleep!

mistlethrush Thu 09-Aug-07 09:27:04

Ds still needs 1.5 - 2hr nap as he's so active the rest of the time - and this doesn't make him less likely to go to sleep in the evening - if anything, if he's overtired it makes it more difficult to get him to bed - everything takes longer, including settling him down.

Hopefully it's just a phase. We did put ds back to bed some nights and leave him crying for a short while - don't know whether that was good or not. However, he is out the otherside of the waking etc - hope that you find the same.

jaynel Thu 09-Aug-07 09:30:56

another long night! he finally got his own way at 0630 this morning and came in our bed. i got up at 0830 as there was a knock at the door he must have woke up and came running down the stairs as if he was being murdered, screaming and crying. i know it may sound strange but could we have some kind of spirit that has just decided to make himself known?

jaynel Thu 09-Aug-07 09:35:05

he used to have a 2 hr sleep in the day and then sleep rite through from 0730 to 0800, now we are luck if he's asleep by 1000pm. he wont stay in his bed he gets up as soon as u leave his room

juuule Thu 09-Aug-07 09:47:30

It sounds like a phase to me. I'd guess that he's been unsettled by the curtain incident. It may take a while and lots of reassurance to settle him down again.
Where does he have his nap, now? Sometimes if toddlers don't have that daytime nap, they get overtired and their minds work overtime, so they can't settle to sleep at night.
I wouldn't worry too much about habit forming by letting him in bed with you. Get through this phase and then reassess. Don't be afraid of what might happen. If it means that you all get some sleep and your ds gets the reassurance he needs then everyone wins all round. Of course if nobody gets much sleep then something else needs to be done. We used to have a bed settee at the side of our bed and let our ds sleep there if he was worried in the night.

mistlethrush Thu 09-Aug-07 09:48:23

Have you tried to find out which of his toys he relies on? Ds has elephant that's his favourite, but some others too, like lion glove puppet - when we were having problems and he was talking about monsters, we discussed how Nellie would look after him if he looked after her - and that lion would frighten any monsters away, and another toy wouldn't let any monsters come. Worked in the end - either that or it went anyway.

We were woken at 5.30 ('need a wee') - request for our bed (which isn't too bad by that time of morning) - 5 mins later requested his own bed and settled down. Dh's alarm clock went off at 6.05 - ds immediately pounding at the door demanding that we get up...

It's awful to cope through, but hopefully it will pass.

jaynel Thu 09-Aug-07 09:54:38

his nap is anywhere at the mo, in the car or buggy or settee, im kind of thrown now he wont go in his bed and he has a blanket that he drags everywhere, and he has a special bed bear, but ds isnt interested in him at the mo, its very hard as he is a very young 2 so went we talk to him he doesnt seem to understand much

juuule Thu 09-Aug-07 10:25:30

So his nap is sorted it's just the night-time.
2 year olds can understand a lot more than some people think. You do have to repeat yourself quite a bit but they do understand and usually want to please. If he isn't complying with what you want him to do, I would say that's because he needs something which doesn't match with what you are saying but he doesn't have the maturity or the language to explain his needs. A lot of toddlers at that point 'play up'. Difficult and trying as it might be, I would support him the best I could until he gets past this bit. And you will know when that is because you'll notice something changing.

jaynel Thu 09-Aug-07 11:40:48

i get what you mean,just dont want him to get used to being in our bed or us laying with him, my sister was in my parents bed until she was 5, i really couldnt cope with that

juuule Thu 09-Aug-07 13:50:01

Were your parents bothered about your sister being in their bed?
I understand your concern about that, though. I couldn't get a good night's sleep with any of mine once they were over the age of 2. They wriggled about too much.

jaynel Thu 09-Aug-07 18:17:00

not sure, ive never really asked them, but yes they do wriggle and u end up rite on the edge of the bed and there spralled out. he hasnt slept today and i took him to the beach so fingers crossed for tonight

juuule Thu 09-Aug-07 18:19:51

Fingers crossed here for you.

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