Discipline help please(9 Posts)
DS is 17 months and your average mischievous toddler. He is bright and into everything and understands a great deal. So the the course of exploring his world he does things we don't want him to do e.g. splash his hand in the cat's water bowl, climb on things where he might fall, go round the back of the TV set and pull the cables etc. We have childproofed the house as far as possible but there are some things we can't move / block access to, and we just have to control him.
So here's the problem. I say NO very firmly and sternly but trying not to shout. I look sterm. He laughs or shakes his head with a cute gleam in his eye (so very hard for me to keep a straight face) and persists in what he is doing. I try distraction - he has a good concentration span and will not be distracted. I forcibly remove him and try distraction - he runs straight back to what he was doing. He gets LOTS of praise when he stops doing the naughty thing and does something else, but he still likes to do the naughty thing.
I don't want to resort to shouting or smacking, but I have on occasion smacked his hand when he has been touching something dangerous and all other attempts to stop him have failed. He hasn't been bothered by this (obviously I didn't smack him very hard!)
He doesn't seem remotely bothered by me or his dad telling him off, he just ignores us. How can I make my discipline more effective without losing my temper?
oh Gosh we have similar problem but only occasionally, when dd does this, I remove her from the room/situation for about 1 min, and keep repeating this. Sometimes if I really shout loudly she does get the message.
Distract, distract, distract.
If he's in danger, move him somewhere else then.... distract, distract, distract.
It's hard work, but well worth the effort, and this phase won't last tooooo long.
Get safety covers for electric sockets, and keep a close eye on him whilst he's in this Super Explorer mode.
With the exception of the electric cables I found the best way to deal with this kind of mischeviousness was to explain once..eg "you may fall and hurt yourself if you don't stop climbing" and then rather than stressing (and of course make sure nothing they can hurt Self on seriously) leave them to it. The way I see it is all children have to learn sooner or later that WE as parents can warn them of danger BUT ultimatly they must learn to co operate, and it is never too early to start. As for electric cables we blocked the tv cabinet off with plants and tall ornimants which meant ds couldn't get access to the wires.
You may not agree but it is just a suggestion. After all he is being a curious toddler...oh god and I am gonna do it all again after 9 years lol
TLE, that is more or less the approach I have adopted. If he falls off something low and bumps his head slightly, he'll learn that climbing can result in a fall. I guess what bothers me most is that he doesn't seem to think it is a big deal when Mummy tells him off, it's like water off a duck's back. It won't always be like that will it?
My ds is 16months and i've been using a version of the naughty step, but instead of placing him on something or somewhere (he wont stay still if i do that anyway - he's too young), after a warning or 2, i sit on teh floor and hold him still on my lap. This doesnt hurt him but he doesnt like it and it seems to work - insomuch that he doesnt immediately go back to doing whatever it was i didnt want him to.
Fluffy he is still young,and exerting his new found identity. His personality is developing more daily and he has to test boundaries. I am not saying it has always been easy BUT no it doesn't last forever.
Music is a good thing to distract toddlers especially if mummy dances around like a fool as well lol.
I gave ds 1 wall in his room which i painted with blackboard paint (am I allowed to say that these days?) to draw on, ok we had a couple of mishaps but chalk washes off ever so easily failing that get him a chalk board, think you can get them at the early learning centre.
I totally ignored the laughing after telling him once as I felt this was his way of trying to be the new person he had discovered. This is also the time we can mould our sons into better people as we can teach them what to do in the kitchen lol well I did the result ? a 9 yr old who does his washing, can cook a meal, hoovers, hangs washing up, can make tea n coffee n a mean hot choccy for heffalump mummy lol along with a host of other things.
I now believe what people say that boys are harder as toddlers and girls when they are older.....
oh well 10 weeks time and the whole cycle starts again for me.
Hi Fluffy, I had the same issue with DS (he is no2 2 and a bit).
The best advice I got was to 'pick your battles'.
For example, he was constantly climbing onto the toilet to lean over the sink and I was terrified of cracking open his head. But we bought him a stool, and now he can climb up safely. All he wanted was to have a look
Definitely childproof all the dangerous things like sockets, but otherwise let him explore as much as you can because they do tend to get bored once they've checked it all out
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